.

Hard to get time at the computer!

2012-01-24T18:17:00.001-07:00

This is what I have been able to work on when I get a moment. Instead of the traditional birth announcements (because facebook makes them kind of useless...), I made this to hang in my house!

I don't get much time to myself anymore, and that has been a real adjustment, and some times are harder than others...but in the end, I really do love it.

Thanks for the headband, Colsie!

I made that bow!

Dinner and bed time is so fun!

Got my desk painted (thanks to Ben) and moved into the house. Craft time!

Found out today that a friend here in Clovis passed away. It feels more tragic when someone dies when they are still young. He was only a little older than me. It still doesn't feel real. It just feels like he's still there. The memorial service was today. I kept it together until the pastor said exactly what I needed to hear. He wasn't alone when he passed. When you are a Christian and accept Christ into your heart, His name is written on your heart. You are never alone from that point out. I actually think that was the same thing I was told the day I was saved.

See, what bothered me the most was thinking that he was by himself when he needed us most. It really got to me. So hearing that really meant a lot, and I think that it helped a lot of people as well.

Week one and done

2012-01-08T11:49:00.001-07:00

Week one at home is over, and I think it went pretty well.

Had a rough night on Friday...Delilah screamed for about 2.5 hours straight...and I was functioning on about 2 hours of sleep (just from being so busy). Finally, I gave her some gas medicine and she was able to calm down. I had no idea! I think the deli meat I had eaten for lunch the past couple days was upsetting her stomach. I've been giving her meds at almost every feeding, and last night was really calm! I also think she was frustrated at the change from breast shield to bare breast. We're doing much better though and we only used the shield once yesterday! (and it was the early morning feeding and she was still gassy)

Had people over yesterday, Ben and the dude enjoyed some beers, some of which the guy actually brewed in his garage. His wife is really nice too, and I enjoyed visiting with her. She's a quiet person, but has a lot to say if you're listening.

Ben got me a kindle fire for Christmas, and so far, I've already finished 2 books and am halfway through another! Water for Elephants is fantastic, so is The Help. I got WFE from Netflix and it stayed pretty close to the book (which I appreciate). I've got The Help here now, and hopefully we'll watch that tonight. It's so easy to just feed Lilah and read at the same time. No pages to turn, no heavy or awkward book to hold and balance with one hand.

Still waiting on getting the desk moved from the garage into the house. I would love to start working on some new crafty crafts!

Day 3

2012-01-05T14:19:00.000-07:00

Day 3 of being a "stay at home mom" and so far, so good!
Lilah and I are figuring things out together and getting somewhat of a schedule going and things are going pretty well!

I had a lactation consultant come by today. I've been using breast shields while she eats, and the experts say that it's not the best thing for the baby...plus, bare breast will be more convenient. She was really nice and encouraging...unlike the others that I've encountered. I've been told that using the shields is awful, it's horrible for my baby, I need to get rid of them ASAP...basically no one is being sensitive that I'm a new mom and the shields were given to me by a nurse in the hospital. Am I supposed to second guess everything?
It's really frustrating figuring things out and trying to do the best I can and then have these elitists try and make me feel bad. Have they forgotten what it's like to be a first time mom?
Part of me feels like once people are done being pregnant, done with the first baby, etc...they forget how they felt in those situations. If they remembered, they wouldn't treat pregnant women and first time moms with such disdain. Not all advice/comments are needed.

I'm working on getting the house back together after coming back from MO. Laundry is almost totally done, and just working on the clutter now. I've got a desk in the garage that I'd like to strip and paint either turquoise or robin's egg blue and set up in the dining room for crafts. I got a cricut for Christmas, and I can't wait to start. I'm making Lilah's baby book and also a book called 365 Days of Delilah, documenting her in pictures for every day for her first year. I can't wait to get started!

day 1

day 25

2011-12-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

After 44 hours of labor, Delilah Jean graced us with her presence!

8lbs 1.6 oz

21 inches long

12:13pm

She's the most wonderful thing in the entire world.

It started on Friday with another check up since she was late (9 days late at that point) and her fluids were way down. That meant that the placenta wasn't giving her the amount of nutrients it had previously been giving her. If the levels are less than 5, they send you over to the hospital for an induction.

I had actually gone to work that morning and just left for my appointment. I called work and let them know. Called my mom and let her know. We headed back to the house to grab all of our stuff, everyone was so excited!

When we got there, I got hooked up to an IV and an external fetal heart monitor as well as a monitor to measure my contractions. I was started on a pill that was given every 4 hours, up to 6 times to get me dilated. I walked the halls, ate some supper, hung out with Mom and Ben. After 24 hours, those pills had done nothing for me. Next up was the 12 hour med. For the first 6 hours or so, I did really well...then the contractions started. I was breathing through them pretty well, but I was also feeling a bit queasy, so I skipped dinner. As the night moved forward, I couldn't even walk the halls anymore...every step was painful. I laid on my side back in the room and they got worse and worse. I had no sense of time. Ben was timing them and comforting me during it all. After awhile of these contractions, I became delirious with the pain and lost sense of time. At 1am, I was checked again, and had only dilated to a 3. My doctor told my mom and Ben that I was "uninducable". They had to get me on pitocin and ordered me an epidural.

Again, I was so out of it that I didn't really know what was going on. It was like 2 or 3 hours until they could start the pitocin and get me the epidural because the dr was doing a c-section. When they finally came in and got it for me, I didn't even feel the epidural go in. Ben and my mom couldn't watch because the needle was so big. After the epidural, I got almost instant relief. After 36 hours of labor, I think I deserved a break.

I got some sleep, but not too much because I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I would soon hold my baby in my arms. The prospect was so exciting! At around 7ish, I was checked again, and was dilated at a 9! The nurse said that Delilah would be here before lunchtime.

AHHH!!!

Around 10ish, they turned off my epidural so that I would know how to push. I still couldn't feel anything, but I could feel the push. I started around 11:15 or so, and Delilah was here at 12:13pm! She came out, let out a wail, and they put her on my chest. She was so alert and didn't cry, she just looked at me. I started crying, Ben had tears in his eyes. It was the most wonderful moment of my life. I watched as she was cleaned up and weighed and Ben was by her side the entire time. My mom came into the room and cried and met her first granddaughter. Words don't explain the emotion in that room after she was born.

My life will never be the same, and I can't wait to continue on with this adventure.

Tomorrow!

2011-12-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day at work! I'm pretty excited. I already turned in my resignation paperwork, signed myself up to be a sub starting in Feb, and let the principal know I wouldn't be returning. I'm excited to have this next step in my life so close.

Another doctor's appointment tomorrow. Checking the fluids and her heartbeat again. Gotta make sure everything is good in there. I am really hoping they just say, "Oh, you're in labor, go to the hospital." Course, I've been hoping that with the last few visits, and that hasn't happened. Ah well. Soon!

Tried a new dinner last night and it was DELISH. I didn't get a picture of it because everyone was so hungry, the plates were soon empty!

Asian Inspired Lemon Chicken

YUM.

With it, I also made white rice and also made some broccoli stir fry (with a pinch of salt and splashes of soy sauce.) Needless to say, everyone was quite satisfied afterwards. It was also good on day 2 when I took it for lunch!

The good...and the ugly.

2011-12-07T16:09:00.000-07:00

I'm totally loving this 5 day weekend that I got, by accident! I called in on Friday because I was scared to drive in the weather, and then school was cancelled on Monday and Tuesday!

Yesterday, Mom and I made sugar cookies and decorated some of them. Today, I got the urge to bake again and made:

Nutella Sandwich Cookies

1/2 cup butter

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/2 cup flour

3/4 cup oats

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp salt

Nutella

Bake at 375 for 5-7 minutes.

Beat butter and sugars. Add egg and vanilla until smooth.

Pour in all dry ingredients and mix.

Roll into teaspoon balls, flatten into circles.

Once they come out of the oven and are cool, spread Nutella on the bottoms and top with another cookie!

ENJOY!

Sugar cookies with homemade drizzle

(1 1/2 cup powdered sugar with 3 tablespoons of milk. For the chocolate, I added a spoonfull of unsweetened cocoa powder)

Quite a fun day, if you ask me! I've got the baking bug, and it's been a lot of fun!

And now...the ugly...

Remember when I wrote about my psycho cousin and my ridiculous aunt? Well, here's the new situation:

Cousin (who is still married to her baby's daddy...the one who left her for the female counterpart that they were swinging with...is on her second relationship with some man in his 30s with 2 kids and is still married himself) is pregnant with new boyfriend's baby.

Doesn't that sound like a Jerry Springer episode to you? Maybe Maury? Montel? Well, any of those trashy tv shows that trash get onto.

Maybe this will help rope him into staying with her. Didn't work with her husband...second time's a charm?

My aunt is really excited, of course, because this is one of the few things she has left in life (other than "dating" her ex who left her for someone else and is letting that someone else live in the house that my aunt shared with him for at least 10 years).

Mom asked me if I felt upset at all, and I thought, "Why would I feel upset?" I have:

1. A husband who takes care of me and has a fantastic career.

2. A mom who is wonderful and supportive and strong.

3. A beautiful little girl on the way.

4. A drive for success.

5. A college education.

6. A warm home.

7. A stable environment.

8. Common sense and the knowledge of right vs wrong.

9. A wonderful relationship with God.

10. Family and friends that love me through thick and thin.

What more could I want? No reason for me to get upset at this girl and her poor life. I just pity her daughter and future child. Her daughter has been through so much already...been exposed to goodness knows what...and I just hope that this new baby won't have to.

Ending on a happy note:

I'm making Lemon Chicken tonight! I'll post the recipe if it turns out delish!

Update

2011-12-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

Got observed today. Had an ultrasound to check all of her fluids. Anything over 5 ml is good and means the placenta is still good and providing nutrients to Delilah. My level was 12! I also took a non stress test, which consisted of sitting in a very comfy recliner and having a couple bands measure to see if I'm having contractions and Delilah's heartbeat. Each time she moved, I had to press a little button. She moved a TON and her heartrate is great.

After thinking about it, Ben and I have decided not to induce. We want her here, but not bad enough to do something that isn't medically necessary. It's obvious that she's not ready to come out, and my body isn't ready for her to come out, so she'll stay until it's time. If there was something wrong, we would definitely consider inducing, but she's safe and sound and just taking her time. I remember thinking at the very beginning of the pregnancy that she would probably last to the second week of December (based on when I think conception took place), and I think I'm right!

I want a chair like that for my house.

Still no Delilah!

2011-12-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

It must be very comfortable inutero...because she is still being stubborn and not coming out!

Me, Mom, and Ben went to go see The Muppets today. Not a bad movie, pretty funny in parts. We were the only people in the theater until about 5 minutes in when everyone started piling in. Such is the typical Clovis fashion. It was fine until the kids to our left started crying/whining/yelling/throwing their feet around making their light up shoes flash so bright I thought she had a multi colored flashlight. I ignored it for a long time, but it comes to a certain point that if your kids are acting up, you remove them from a situation so that the people around you don't have to suffer. Everyone in the theater paid the same amount, and they shouldn't have to deal with a kid (not their own) whose parents won't do anything to stop bad behavior. It's very frustrating, especially for someone who is a teacher and has had control over 20 children by herself at once...and had them behave. Delilah isn't here yet, but if I took her to the movie and this was happening, I would take her outside the theater so that everyone else wouldn't have to suffer and miss parts of the movie. It's distracting and unfair to everyone else. I think that's a pretty easy solution.
Unfortunately, there are lazy parents...or maybe just parents that are impolite and don't care about those around them...or maybe they just think that their children are actually not acting poorly because they haven't taught them how to act. Who knows. In any case, it's annoying, and nothing will change my mind about that. Period. People who disagree with what I'm saying probably fall into one of the categories above...or maybe they just don't know what to do to control their children in public. I was most impressed with my friend Colsie. Her son was 4 and sat through the ENTIRE Beatles LOVE show in Las Vegas. It was amazing. They are awesome parents...he knows how to behave in public. The couple times that I've seen him act up, both her and Cooper have taken immediate steps to correct the behavior. All I ask is that parents simply parent.

Sigh.

We decorated Ben.

Tree topper!

It didn't work out...

Without flash

With flash

Expert tree decorators

Margot!

Otis!

Rilo!

Robot Santa and Zombie Nutcracker

On Friday, I called into work because it was supposed to get super icy and snowy in the afternoon. I didn't want to chance driving in it and having contractions. We decided to put up Christmas decorations. Got out our tree and realized that it was pretty much falling apart. Ben decided that we were going to go out and get a new tree and new ornaments...and get lunch. Love it when he just does something spontaneous! We went and had lunch at Cotton Patch, got ornaments at Hobby Lobby, a 1980s stained glass Santa at Goodwill, and then got the last nice tree with white lights at Walmart. Ben and I were looking at the ball ornaments there and at the same time pointed to the SAME colored set. We had to get them. Got Delilah a stocking (no pictures of those yet because Mom and I are doing something crafty with them). Came home and decorated the house while listening to Christmas music and had my Winter candle lit! I love walking through our living room now...this is my favorite time of the year!

An update on Delilah

2011-12-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

40 weeks+1 day

I tried to explain the importance of punctuality to Delilah, but she's late. She's late, for a very important date!

Saw that dr. yesterday. Actually, she's my midwife and I adore her. She's a very friendly person and has made me extremely comfortable...which is hard for someone to do when they must do things like open up your cervix with their hands. Yeah, that happened.

Guess what didn't feel too great...that.

So she's late, and I have to go in on Monday for monitoring. Gotta check the fluid levels/placenta/everything to make sure she's OK. If she is, I still have the option for an induction on Wednesday. What the midwife told me was that if Delilah is OK, I can hold off on the induction, but be monitored more. If not, I'll have to have one. I have heard that the placenta doesn't provide as much nutrients after a certain time, but I also have heard about the stress of the contractions with pitocin. I'm just not sure what I'll do yet. What I'm really hoping for is that Delilah will decide to come...even in the middle of the ice/snow storm we're gonna get this weekend.

My problems with Glee and why I'm not watching it anymore:

2011-11-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

When I first started watching Glee, it was about a group of diverse kids who were social outcasts for different reasons, yet they all happened to be great singers.
It was a dorky show about show choir. I was down with that.

The past year, it has done nothing but focus on gay kids, bullying of gay kids, kids coming out of the closet, etc...Last episode, Rachel even called Kurt "her gay". In EVERY episode, that is one of the main focuses. It isn't just about bullying, it's about bullying the gay kids. No more about bullying all around or any other major story line. Last season it was all about Kurt (who is so stereotypical it makes me want to vomit) and his dealings with being gay and bullied. Now it's Santana. I turned it off last night when they were all worried about her because of the recent and very real story of the kid who made a "It Gets Better" who killed himself.

OK, GLEE, WE GET IT. You could be bullied for being gay. GREAT.

What about the rest of the kids who get bullied in school?
I'm a teacher, and I see kids get bullied for EVERYTHING. No one is immune to it.
Instead of coddling kids and creating ridiculous anti-bullying (and money wasting) programs, teachers/parents/kids need to get involved themselves. Bullies won't ever go away...no program or Lady Gaga is going to stop it. ADULTS bully one another every day. You have to learn how to deal with it.

There are really horrible people in this world, and sometimes you just have to deal with them. Put on your big girl panties and suck it up. Hell, I was bullied for being so pale, and I'm STILL self conscious about it. I was bullied in the 7th grade because I didn't have a lot of money. It actually progressed into the girl CONSTANTLY getting into my face, putting ice cream in my hair, and being a horrible person. Finally, enough was enough. I threw her across a lunch table.
Yes, I had enough and took matters into my own hands.
I stopped being a victim and quietly taking it.
She stopped bullying me after that.
Sometimes, you have to stand up for yourself and not expect others to do it for you. Become a stronger person and take care of your own business.

And again, it isn't just gay kids getting bullied. That shouldn't be the main "bully agenda issue" that people focus on. If they're going to waste money on programs like this, they should be teaching kids how to be strong individuals instead of trying to tell people NOT to bully.

Some people are just always going to be assholes...an anti bullying program isn't going to stop that.

So halfway through, I turned off Glee and cancelled my timer for it on my DVR. I'm tired of the same story plot.

2011-11-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

Why is it so important for some people to announce that they are spending money, or announcing how MUCH they've spent? It's really classless and off-putting, and it doesn't make anyone envy them. Do they see that, or is the need to try and impress people so great that they are blinded by what they're saying? I'm always more impressed when people (myself included) find great deals and get things for cheaper than the normal price. I love sales and coupons!

Moving on....

Still having a great time with my mom being here! We've been crafting, visiting, and just having a good time. She's making some little softies for Delilah, an elephant and a Christmas giraffe. They are ADORABLE. She's also got some booties made and all they need are the laces. Pretty freaking adorable. I love handmade stuff so much!

I've also been making more bows, no pictures right now though. I did finish a canvas for her room though:

I've got an owl one in the works too.

Going back to work tomorrow, not looking forward to all the comments:
"OH! You didn't have the baby!" and comments similar to that....

My mom is in town!

2011-11-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Mom made it in town on Tuesday afternoon!
She got to go see my classroom and kids, meet some of my coworkers, and see where I work. It was pretty awesome! She headed back to the house to take her stuff in and see the pups. She got settled in and got to rest before Ben and I got home.

Ben and I had my 39 week check up that day...not dilated yet. I was a bit disappointed, but I guess Delilah just isn't ready to make her appearance yet.

Mom and I took all the dogs for a walk...Otis, Rilo, AND Karma! They walked together in a pack and did really well. I'll get a picture on the next one we go on. No walk today, Mom and I were out all day, and were so tired!
We went:
to the tower and got a tour from Ben.
to the rapconn and got a tour from Joe and Daun.
to the BX/Commissary and got coffee and a bagel and then shopped.
to Hobby Lobby to get some ribbon and felt.
to the mall to make a return and shop around.
(at the mall, we were in Dillards and saw three kids being herded back to the customer service area. Apparently, their mom was missing. The kids had walked away while their mom was in the fitting room...leaving them unattended outside...and they couldn't find her. They had actually tried going outside the store to check the car! They said she was wearing a green shirt, so mom and I looked in the store...which isn't very big...for a woman in a green shirt. No such luck. She wasn't in the fitting rooms either. I think the mom just left her kids there! Mom and I talked and we would have been screaming for the mall to be locked down until we found our kids...and no one even knew it was happening. So sad.)
to Lowes to get L brackets for the shelves I made earlier this week:

I also made the bows!

to Walmart to get a few last minute things.

Then we went home. We ran around a LOT today, and had a BLAST.

Made deviled eggs and green fluff for Thanksgiving tomorrow. First year in 3 that I'm not making a turkey, which kind of makes me sad (because I make the BEST turkey), but I don't want to be in charge of the main dish and then go into labor. That wouldn't be good.

I made salmon for dinner, and then Mom and I just sat at my bar and crafted all night. I made 2 bows for Delilah...one which I'll use, the other was just a first time trial. Here's the bow I'm going to use:

It's for her Christmas outfit!

All in all, it's been a pretty slamtastic day.

Adventuring in New Mexico, surprise baby shower, AND Breaking Dawn

2011-11-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, there was a planned power outage in our neighborhood, so Ben and I decided to go off exploring. We drove West into New Mexico and stopped to take pictures of the interesting things we saw. Ben really has an eye for detail.
Here are some of my favorites:

It was a REALLY good day. I love spending time with him.
I took some pictures of stuff we found too, just with my iphone:

This stuff is AMAZING

Our favorite place was an old abandoned church.

Last night I got together with some ladies here in town to go eat at an Italian restaurant and go see Breaking Dawn. Little did I know that it was actually a surprise baby shower for me!
When I walked in and saw the baby plates and napkins, I actually thought, "Awww, who is having a baby?" (Um, duh, me...9 months and almost 3 weeks....)
I got some really cute gifts and the thoughtfulness really made me tear up!

Presents!

Cupcakes!

D for Delilah

All in all, a very successful day/evening.

2011-11-18T22:48:00.001-07:00

My friend is such an awesome photographer!

These are just a few previews of the maternity pictures she took...aren't they AMAZING?!

She posts a lot of her work on her blog: http://bloggtreat.blogspot.com/

LOVE IT!

These are a few things you shouldn't say to someone who is pregnant:

"When are you going to pop?"

I'm not a damn balloon, so I'm never going to pop. I am, however, going to give birth soon.

"Are you scared?"

Would it matter if I was? Labor/Delivery is going to happen anyway...and if I was scared, would I want to share it with every random person?

"You're crazy to not want drugs!"

Why? Because I think that women have been giving birth for a VERY LONG TIME and are capable of bringing a baby into the world without subjecting it to all the risks of drugs just so I'm more comfortable? I'm not going to outright deny that I will end up getting an epidural, but it's definitely not what I want.

"You're big!" (Or any other statement like that)

Obviously having a baby=gaining weight and having your torso swell. Hello, I've got a person growing inside of me...I'm obviously going to look different. I have felt great throughout my entire pregnancy and have taken measures to make sure that I'm eating right. I'm not unhealthy, and statements like that imply that people think that I am.

"Aren't you ready?"

Yes, I'm actually really excited to meet my daughter. Why wouldn't I be? Am I ready? That's a dumb question.

"Oh, it's just your hormones."

Guess what...I've been relatively calm and happy thoughout my entire pregnancy, but telling me something like that makes me want to physically hurt someone. It isn't just hormones. I'm actually under a bit of stress right now being: pregnant, about to quit work, Christmas is coming up, bills, working with an idiot, etc...So no, it's not just hormones. It's life, and I'm allowed to get frustrated with things.

In happier news, I wrapped some more presents and they look all fancy with the houndstooth print and red bows. I love it! I can't wait to get my Christmas decorations out up! Christmas is the best time of the year!

Work seems to be getting longer and longer!

2011-11-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

Boy...work days seem like they are neverending. I was pretty exhausted yesterday, mostly because I came home and had to do all the laundry and vacuum and mop the whole house. We had company over the weekend, and the house got messy. Needed to be done, but I didn't get finished until 9pm. I don't want to do that again.

2 weeks until my official due date. I have a dr's appt tomorrow. I hope they check to see if I'm dilated at all. And I hope I am.

I have decided that I want a cricut for Christmas. I think that I'd have a lot of fun with it, and I do so many different crafts that it's probably a worthwhile investment. I'm hoping that I can find an awesome bundle...they usually have them around Christmas.
Here are some cartridges I want:

Jubilee Celebration

Hoot 'n' Holler

Those are the 2 I've found so far. I've got a list going at work. I am designing Delilah's baby book (couldn't find one I really liked in the stores), and I am going to have some fun with it!

Well, I need to go get my cookies packed up for tomorrow's luncheon. woooooo

Night, sweet dreams!

Finally done!

2011-11-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

YAY! Her name is done! Now we can get the nursery set up the way I want it. Gotta move furniture around this week. I'm planning on doing a lot of cleaning this week, because my mom is coming next week to help out and be here for when Delilah comes!

Wow. What a weekend.

2011-11-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, Delilah, the wedding is over. Feel free to make your appearance at any time now! We are excited to meet you!

Went to a wedding:

Definitely one of the coolest weddings I've ever been to. Her family went all out for it, and it turned out great! Ben was the best man, and looked handsome as heck!

Some thoughts on this beautiful Sunday

2011-11-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

I almost left my job on Friday. Has nothing at all to do with me being pregnant and being tired, it has everything to do with the person that I work with in the classroom. It's very frustrating having a degree in teaching, and not having a teaching position...while having to watch someone with a classroom be so incredibly lazy and not do any teaching. I am tired of hearing about her personal problems, I'm tired of her not teaching the kids on a daily basis, and I'm tired of being expected to do more just because I have a degree. If I was getting paid to do that, then I would, but I'm not. I'm not going to do her job and get no credit or compensation for it. I did that last year and was walked all over. It is very frustrating. Once I leave, I'm going to report all of it to the principal. It isn't fair to the kids (who are in the school because they need extra help), and it's not fair to the people that work in this person's room. Other people have actually said that they would leave the school if they had to work in the room with her. I don't know why people like this are allowed to keep their jobs when they don't do it.

After Friday, I really needed that prenatal massage (thanks for the gift certificate!). We went to Lubbock yesterday and it was absolutely amazing. I had a female masseuse. They had a heated bed that you lay on, and you stay covered up the whole time. I had my neck, shoulders, and back worked on. For the back, I laid on my side, and it felt awesome! The room was dim and there was soft music, and it was just exactly what I needed. I think I'd like one for the rest of this month! I'd never had a massage before, and it was definitely worth it. I'd like to go in after Delilah is here to get a full one, including legs and feet. Can't do that now because there are muscles there that if triggered can send you into labor early!

Finished the first letter of Delilah's nursery letters today. PHEW. I'm being so picky with them, it's taking forever. I've made my way through Vampire Diaries season 1 and almost 2 working on them. That's a lot of hours spent painting.

We're taking our maternity pictures today with the lovely Megan Haney Photography. I'm so excited about it. I'm not getting all dressed up, just jeans and a thermal. Very relaxed. I wanted to get the first letter done though so that we could add that into the pictures.

I feel really lucky that I haven't been craving anything too crazy...mostly just fruits and veggies. Honestly, I think a lot of women use being pregnant as an excuse to just go crazy and eat junk. You aren't eating for 2, you only need about 300 extra calories. I haven't been counting any calories, but I also haven't been eating a bunch of crap. I've been eating what I want when I'm hungry, drinking lots of water, and going on daily walks. I think that it has kept me able to keep working and being active.
Speaking of working, I don't know why people are so surprised that I'm still working. I'm pregnant, not disabled. I want to keep going as long as I can, especially because I'm not coming back to work after.

Anyway, I'm off. Gotta go get ready to have pictures taken!

Pictures as of late...

2011-10-31T19:27:00.000-06:00

Trick-r-treat!

Margot was not pleased with me.

Rilo hung out with me all weekend in the barstool while I painted Delilah's nursery letters. She is awesome.

The beginning of the letters.

Woke up to snow on Thursday morning! What a great day!

He makes sure no evil doers pass by Delilah's room.

My dogs got in trouble today. Barking and not listening. I know that Halloween is a crazy night filled with ringing doorbells, but there is only so much I can take!

I don't know if I've made it clear, but I'll just say this: Don't give me advice unless I ask for it. Don't tell me, "You just wait until...." I don't want to hear it. It's annoying. I'm sure it was annoying when people did it to you when you were pregnant. Why are you spreading the misery?!

That's not directed at anyone in particular, just in general for everyone who HAS been saying stuff like that to me.

I'm really excited for the weekend! Ben and I are going out of town to get my prenatal massage and return some duplicate stuff that we got. We're getting maternity pictures done on Friday night, and I'm super stoked about that.

Next week, my friends are getting married an hour and a half away, so we get to go! Ben is in the wedding, and Chip is too, so we'll see him too. I'm pretty excited.

I took the day off.

2011-10-31T19:14:00.000-06:00

After such a long week (tiring of work and some people who work there), I decided to take a day off.

After work on Wednesday, I came home completely exhausted and was barely able to finish making dinner. I didn't realize how tired I was until I was doing dishes and felt like I was going to fall over. I went to bed early.

Thursday was OK at work, but the power at our house was out all day. Ben was super frustrated because it was his day off and wanted to play his new Xbox game. I was super frustrated because it snowed and this happens EVERY YEAR on the first snowfall. This AFB just does quick fixes and puts everyone out year after year. By the time I got home, the power still wasn't on, so we went into town to get dinner. Still nothing when we got back, and we were told it wouldn't be on until 10pm or MAYBE tomorrow morning. GREAT. So we went over to a friend's house and he and Ben played the game over there while I watched Scream 4.
We finally decided to go home and just go to bed. Not much else we really could do at this point. I didn't want to stay at someone's house. I was brushing my teeth and all of a sudden, the power came back on! 10:48pm. We blew out the candles we had lit to be able to see in the house, and I promptly went to bed.

I got to sleep in until 9am this morning, and wake up when I woke up, not to an alarm, and I'm feeling much better already. I think I just needed to catch up on some sleep. I haven't been going to bed early like I was before, so I think I need to start doing that again...at least while I'm still working.

Today, aside from relaxing, I'm going to pick up the house a little bit (snow+New Mexico=dirt and leaves in the house), and then work on Delilah's nursery letters. I finally got it figured out what I want to do. I'm super excited!

Huzzah!

2011-10-25T17:31:00.000-06:00

I'm exhausted.

I spent all day long at a farm here in town on a field trip with my classes of 3 year olds. I'm pretty sure I'm sunburnt...maybe just wind burnt. The kids did awesome, and I had Ben with me all day as well as some of his work friends.

To distract the dogs from the fact that we're NOT going for our usual 2 mile walk, I've loaded their hollow bones up with peanut butter. Otis devoured his, but Rilo is still working on her's.

Speaking of my darling Rilo, she turned 4 on Saturday! We celebrated with a cake and lots of love.

All 3 patiently waiting for their cake.

I love this dog.

This weekend is the Halloween part with all of our friends. Let me tell you, it is NOT easy finding a costume being almost 9 months pregnant. I was definitely not going to paint my belly or dress like a pumpkin. That is so stupid, and I hate it when people do it.

I painted a picture for Lynell in exchange for some hair bows she makes.

For her friend's daughter

She came over yesterday and got some ribbon that I had from Delilah's diaper cake, and then looked at some other outfits that I had to match bows to that too. Hopefully, all that hair we saw on the ultrasound sticks around and she gets to wear lots of bows!

2011-10-15T17:47:00.000-06:00

Last Friday, I spent about 45 minutes huddled up with my pets in my bedroom closet. There was a tornado that passed by us, but there was a chance for it to hit Clovis! I was terrified, and Ben was at work. I grabbed my dogs, their blankets, Margot in her cube, my phone, and the laptop and ran in and took cover. Wasn't really sure how safe I was, but there aren't any basements in this stupid town.
Anyway, it got called off, and Ben got sent home because his supervisor rules and knew I was terrified.

Hanging in the closet:

This week has been spent trying not to lose my temper at work...so far, so good. I'll be so glad when I'm done there. One of the people I work with doesn't do her job, and expects me and another coworker to pick up the slack. It's easy to be a teacher when you don't actually interact with the kids, right? Or teach. Yeah. And it sucks even more because this person has a teaching job and I don't. UGH.

Last night, Ben and I spent the night at the VFW with some of his coworkers, then came back home. We were playing poggle or peggle on the 360 and watching Delilah slam dance in my stomach. It was pretty awesome.

Another baby shower!

2011-10-07T16:04:00.000-06:00

Cheesing it.

My coworkers at LJ and Cameo!

My current boss, Cynthia

Had a baby shower at work on Wednesday and was AMAZED at the turnout! I got some incredibly nice things! To list a few:

*Homemade blankets

*Boppy pillow with owl cover

*Wooden art with Delilah Jean engraved on it

*Skull onesie/tutu

*TONS of cute clothes

*Giftcards

*Bumbo

*Shoes/socks

And a ton more...

I feel so blessed that they came together and helped celebrate!

Went to the doctor for my 8 month checkup yesterday. Had an ultrasound to check growth.

Look at that healthy heart! 146 beats/min

Sleepy baby

She puts her arm over her eyes when she naps, just like me!

Look at all that hair! Let's hope it's red!

I can't wait to meet her and hold her and love her.

A few days in my life:

2011-10-01T18:22:00.000-06:00

8 months!

Lack of posting=I've been really busy lately.

Work is taking it out of me, but I'm trudging along. I think I've been more tired lately because Delilah has been growing a lot, in a short amount of time.

Our friends from the other base in NM are out visiting this weekend, and I'm pretty stoked about that. They're some pretty cool people. We're going to a bonfire tonight, then hopefully back to our house for a night of The Game of Things! (I love that game, and if you haven't played it, then you're totally missing out)

Still no apology from the family members who are causing all the problems and drama. Didn't expect one from crazy cousin, but I'm surprised that my aunt has been able to function day to day without my mom's assistance. Her family abandoned her when her husband cheated on her, so I don't see them giving her support...she must be getting solace from "dating" her ex (who is still living with the woman he cheated on her with). Yeah, that's going to end well. Anyway, just surprised that she hasn't had some major crisis that my mom has had to fix for her. Regardless of how I feel (couldn't care less about either of them), I'm upset for my mom because she was betrayed by her own sister. Disgusting turn of events, but that's what happened.

Reconnecting with some people out here. I'm not sure how it will turn out yet, but I'm going to give it a try.

I'm not too excited for Halloween this year. I'm going to be very pregnant, and that kind of limits my costume ideas. This year, it was going to be my turn to pick what Ben and I would be (we were Ash and Misty last year), but it seems like I can't really think of anything. I'm NOT going to paint my belly or dress like a pumpkin. I'm disappointed because the last time it was my turn to pick (actually, every time), Ben always ends up not going along with it. Very frustrating.

Until next time!

Wednesday things

2011-09-21T20:11:00.000-06:00

1. I'm officially 7.5 months along! Honestly, I love being pregnant. I love that I already have a bond with Delilah. I love that she will kick back at me when I rub my belly. I love feeling her hiccups. I love it when I'm going to bed and she's super active getting comfortable. I love it when I eat something sugary and she gets super active. I can't wait to meet her. That being said, I can look past the aching back, the bladder stomping, and not being able to enjoy sushi or a glass of wine. It's worth it.

2. I've been commissioned to do 2 paintings for a friend!

3. Today on the walk, Otis only barked at 1 person (a man). We passed by 3 others and he did fine. I call this improvement!

4. I'm already planning people's Christmas presents! (annnnnnd, I don't have to worry about a few family members this year since cutting them off.)

That's about all for now!

What's been happening:

2011-09-18T10:56:00.000-06:00

Oreo cheesecake cookies

Pumpkin roll

Me and Ben at the homecoming game

WHY do they destroy pillows? (good thing that was HIS pillow!)

This week has been a relatively peaceful week. Worked all week, didn't have time for much else. Definitely more tired lately. I find myself looking at the clock thinking, "Yeah, I could totally fall asleep right now....", and it'll be 8:30 at night. Oh well.

Went to the homecoming game here in town with some friends on Friday. I get in free with my school badge. Kendra and Hank were at the game, and they were filming their reality show 'Kendra'. I guess his 10 year reunion was on Saturday, so they were just doing Clovis stuff. I've never met Hank Jr., but his father is a wonderful person who comes and volunteers in the school district to read to the kids. It's really really nice. He's got a voice that the kids really listen to during the stories.

Saturday, Ben and I spent the day in town and then watched The Wrestler that afternoon. You know, I really like movies that have somewhat of a happy ending...this one did not. Still wonderful, but I kept waiting for SOMETHING happy to happen. That night, we got dinner and then decided to make it a bad movie night. There were other things going on, some of the girls were getting together for a craft night, and it was another person's birthday..but 7.5 months into my pregnancy, and I'm really tired of being around drunk people. It's not that I want to drink, it's that drunk people are really really annoying...

Today, I am going to hang out here at the house and get stuff done. Sounds like a plan.

Dang it.

2011-09-11T18:39:00.000-06:00

I had high hopes for this weekend. Movie watching and hanging out with Ben...

Saturday was spent moping about the house because there was nothing to do.

Sunday was spent with Ben on base with everyone watching the games. I went for the Chiefs game, but didn't stay for the others.
Now he's at home asleep on the love seat. Doubt we'll watch True Blood tonight.

I forgot that I don't actually like football Sunday for that exact reason.

Baby name DRAMA

2011-09-09T18:49:00.001-06:00

I really thought that I would be able to make it through my pregnancy without ANY baby name drama that so many others seem to face (as seen on STFUParents). Boy oh boy, was I wrong.

Today, I asked my mom if we were having a family celebration for Christmas, or if it was just going to be the immediate family getting together. I hoped for the latter, and that's what we're doing! I did ask why, and Mom said, "I don't want to tell you."
Of course, that made me push for her to tell me.

Right before my mom's birthday, I posted that Ben and I had chosen the name Delilah Jean (which fits us PERFECTLY because it's a unique name AND the middle name is after my mom and my grandma, both of whom I am/was extremely close with. It's my way of honoring them both). Well, that weekend, my mom didn't hear from one of my relatives. When she texted, she got no response. Finally, she called this relative and asked if everything was OK.
This relative simply responded, "Cindy...the NAME."
My mom had NO idea what this person was talking about. She just said, "Yeah, Danielle and Ben decided on Delilah Jean!" (This relative hadn't liked ANY of the names we had picked out before and had no problem saying so. Whatever)
The relative said, "Cindy, don't you remember that [my daughter] said that she was going to name her next daughter that a few months ago?"
My mom apparently remembered, however, she had never suggested that name or ANY names to me because "it is your's and Ben's baby, you should name her."
My mom said, "[Relative], Ben picked out the name off of a list of Biblical names he was looking at. He suggested it to Dani."

Of course, that wasn't good enough, and they are somehow blaming my mom for my choice in my daughter's name.

Let's also point out that my relative who supposedly said the name a few months ago has a daughter with the middle name of Jean (because she was very jealous of my relationship with our grandma and got pregnant long before me and before she was married or serious about the person. She wasn't honoring anyone by choosing that, she just wanted to be first to try and make it seem like she had a very good relationship...pathetic). She is also NOT PREGNANT RIGHT NOW NOR IS SHE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. So the psychopath thinks that she has all claim to this name, even though I highly doubt that she even ever said the name Delilah (it would be like this with ANY name I picked out).
It's just a jealousy thing.
She has always tried to cause problems between me and other members of my family because she plays the victim and has never had what I have. She has told many many lies about me and caused many family problems because of her insane jealousy.
She already has a daughter with the middle name "Jean". It's her sick way of pretending that she was close to our Grandma. She wasn't ever close with her. She'd visit and want to eat treats that Grandma made, and she'd want Grandma to take her shopping. She'd never be content like I was to just hang out and do crafts or watch Matlock. She never took care of her when she got sick, I did...and so did my mom.

So her mother is taking her side. Of course. She's always been blinded by her daughter's lies because she's a victim too. Learned behavior. It's really pathetic.
She is also blaming my mother for the demise of her marriage (although it really happened because her husband was cheating on her and spending all of their money), even though my mom and dad took her and her youngest daughter in for almost a year I think, and helped them out with EVERYTHING.
What a way to say thank you, right?

I can't really say I'm surprised at the relative's daughter, because this just fits in with all of her past actions. She doesn't have anything going for her in life besides her daughter.
No education.
Almost divorced (but living with another man who is also still married and raising his kids too).
Was a swinger with her almost ex husband.
Can't hold a job.
No house.
Has moved her daughter more times than I can count.

I could go on and on, but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on them. I'm done. I deleted them on facebook because I want them to have NO information about my life, or the life of my daughter. They can both just stay far far away.

Thanks for listening to me rant...

Delilah Jean is here to stay, and she is going to be the most beautiful, most loved, most cherished little girl in the whole wide world! I can't wait until she's here!

What a great weekend!

2011-09-05T16:05:00.000-06:00

Friday:
Had a blast with some friends I don't normally get to hang out with. Played The Game of Things which is becoming my favorite game.

We ordered a swing from Target.com ($20 off AND free shipping!!!) I'll post a picture when it comes. Rest assured, it's adorable.

Saturday:
Went out of town with Ben to do some shopping. Got a pair of jeans from Motherhood Maternity, SKINNY JEANS!!! They look awesome, and fit great. Love the wash and the fit. Went to Target and got a Shark vacuum. Our old one just randomly stopped working while I was using it on Friday. Luckily, we still had some gift cards, so it cut down on the price...it was on sale though ($20 off!). Shopped a bit at the mall, got some free undies from Victoria's Secret. Proud that I can still wear a size small in my favorite style, despite being 7 months pregnant! (I really think my 2 mile walks each night have kept off the excess poundage that can pack on. I gotta keep it up! I feel really good about how I'm looking right now. I love how my body looks.) Got 2 candles from Bath and Body Works, sweet cinnamon pumpkin and leaves. Fall is in the air and my entire house smells WONDERFUL! The candles were 2 for $20 and I had a 20% off coupon...doesn't get much better than that. Ben got some bar stuff at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He's been drinking Old Fashioneds...such a classy man I have.
Ate dinner with Landon and Dayly at Coyote Bluff Cafe, which was featured on Man vs. Food. That makes 2 restaurants from that show we've eaten at! The food was fantastic, I would definitely recommend it, despite how it looks from the outside. We had great food and great service. Plus, you can make any burger into a chicken sandwich. I LOVE that, because I don't eat a lot of red meat, and a burger was definitely not sounding good that night!

Sunday:
Woke up and cleaned the house because Landon and Dayly were coming. Hung out a bit at the house once they got here, then went to a BBQ at a friend's house. I was expecting some annoyance, but honestly, it was a pretty fun time! Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, and the food was great. (Especially my cookies, which were completely gone by the time we left!)
Came back to our house and had some more friends over for The Game of Things. Once more people showed up, we had to call it quits on the game because it gets way too hard to play with more than 8 people. (Seriously though, if you've never played it, please go out and buy it.)

Monday:
Woke up and cooked breakfast for Ben, Landon, and Dayly. Had eggs, bacon, and pumpkin pancakes. (FALL!) Hung out for a bit, then L&D left to go register for stuff for their wedding. I really love having them out. I always have a good time and end up laughing a LOT.
Ben and I watched True Blood from last night. Parts of the episode were silly, parts were shocking. I'm really looking forward to the season finale. I wish there were more episodes!
I walked the dogs, which was SO nice to do in the middle of the day instead of having to wait until 7pm when it's finally cool enough to go outside.
Back now, chilling until we head off to the store to get stuff for the week.

I am such a happy girl, here with Ben and my pets. The only thing that would make me happier at this moment is if we were a bit closer to our family. Someday!

7 months tomorrow and I feel GREAT!

I thought about something today...

2011-08-29T18:03:00.000-06:00

Earlier this year, I began to pull away from a lot of the goings on with a lot of people I was hanging out with. I have branched out, but I've also stayed close to home and enjoyed spending time with Ben. He and I seem to have a better time out when we're with one another rather than separated.
Since then, I have had no problems with being sucked into the different things that go around. There must be a connection there. I have learned to protect what I say to people here because it's often misheard or retold incorrectly. I don't like it when I have to explain myself later on, especially when the information is from another source and has gotten it wrong. I haven't had any problems lately, and I'm really enjoying it.

I realize that my temper is slightly elevated since I've become pregnant (although I do control it instead of just using it as an excuse and making those around me miserable). I think it's good for me that I've distanced myself from a lot of what was bothering me. I lost a couple of good friends earlier this year (moving on to other bases or leaving while the spouse is deployed), and since then, I have just made the choice to not become too involved with anyone (new or old) here to keep the problems at bay. I do not need any extra stress in my life. I'm happy to say that everything has been relatively calm!

Don't get me wrong, I know that I'm probably talked about and gossiped about, but it doesn't bother me because I'm not involved in the least bit. People talk, and that's all there is to it. You've got to learn to accept it, especially being a military wife. I'm sure there are a couple that haven't gossiped, but I'd rather just stick with what I'm doing now rather than getting sucked up into all of what goes on and erupts at least 2-3 times a year. There are a couple people that I would love to get together with (and still do, schedule permitting), but that's strictly on a one on one or mixed party basis.

I hate to be so vague, but I don't want to put anything out there, even on my personal blog.

That's all on that subject, just wanted to express my happiness at a bad situation turned into good because of some good choices on my part.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm really glad that I found the blog http://www.stfuparentsblog.com
It brings insight into people losing their minds once they have kids...and facebook is involved. I can only hope that once little Delilah Jean (yes, we named her!!!) is born, I can not be one of THOSE parents that share WAY to much on facebook...or make really self-absorbed statements expecting people to do without or something similar just because I'm a mom.
Here's an example of a post on the wonderful 'wives' group' page for our base:
(The post was about a scheduled power outage in a neighborhood close to mine)

Me: Of course Chavez West was out too. Right at the time when people are getting ready for work and school. Makes a lot of sense, right? Couldn't have done it later on in the day? We've got some winners scheduling stuff here...

A sane person: Danielle i agree with you. its hard to get kids ready for school when you have no power. my hubby was in the shower when the power went out and he almost fell bc it was dark in the bathroom. they should learn to do it when everyone is sleeping or at wk.

Me:Exactly...and if they are going to do it to Manor AND West, they should have said that. It's 2 different areas. Stupid timing.

Self-absorbed SAHM:It was a given we were going to b affected I planned on being a part of it from the start! They did it in the morning cause it is a lot cooler and I am sure they didnt want the people who dont have jobs and r home all day to not have central air!! I thank them for that much specially when you have a baby heats up quickly n the house even in the early morning!

Me: Oh I planned for it too. I think you'd be ok for the hour that it was off. We lost it a couple times over the summer for several hours one time and my house stayed cool. (and that's saying something, because I'm pregnant and get hot easily.) I still think it would have been more beneficial to accomodate those that have to work early (which is most of the people in the neighborhood) and those that get kids off to school at that time. Common sense.

As long as she wasn't effected by the outage, it was OK. Nevermind her husband (and all other airmen) getting ready for work at that time, the moms getting the kids out the door (first week of school), and the wives who are still working outside the home. As long as it didn't effect her! So silly.

Baking and Painting

2011-08-28T16:05:00.000-06:00

This week, I baked bacon chocolate chip banana bread. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture because Ben took it to work as soon as it came out of the oven.

It was DELICIOUS though!

Work was pretty boring all week because the classroom teachers were out in meetings. She left us stuff to do, but we got in done in less than 30 minutes each day. So what did we do? We got some movies and I brought my canvas and just chilled. The past 2 weeks at work seemed a bit pointless for us because there wasn't enough to do, but I got paid, so I'm not going to complain.
Here's what I finished this week:

WICKED

I've been wanting to paint this for some time now, but I just had put it off. I've got 2 orders to do this week and one to finish up on. I love doing stuff for people!

Another day, another day.

2011-08-23T18:05:00.001-06:00

There is a new custodian at the school I work at.

I learned today that he is creepy.

Firstly, you should know that I was by myself in the classroom today as one coworker was at meetings and the other was at home sick. Moving on...

He came in the room around 10:30am and wanted to visit. I was polite and we visited for a bit. He wanted to take his break in the room, but I was on my way out for my lunch break because of our conversation. He is about 25-30 years old. Claims to have a BA and a Master's in Education (not implausible). Today he also claimed to be a former cop and took a bullet to his shoulder. He also claimed to be an EMT. This was after he was asking me how to write a resume and asking if he could talk to my husband about being an Air Traffic Controller. WEIRD. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

I went to lunch, and then came back. He popped in again once I was back and asked me if I'd like any of his extra food he'd gotten while at lunch. He told me he was asking everyone. Ok, this food hadn't been touched at all. The mashed potatoes and gravy were still perfectly scooped in the ToGo box. (I asked around, and he didn't ask anyone else).
He came in again later on to ask if he could take his break in my classroom. I told him I was heading out to help a coworker with something (LIE).
He came in AGAIN later on and asked if he could break in there. I told him I was about to head out. At this point, I'm not being super friendly (but not mean) because I'm tired of him just randomly coming in to visit (doesn't he have custodial work to do? He's the only one on that campus!). I was watching Dawn of the Dead (original), and he left after about 5 minutes. Phew.

Luckily, my coworker will be back tomorrow and it won't just be me in there. On top of all that, I started off not feeling quite right this morning...something was just off...so my day was weird anyway.

Ok, on to the better stuff.

6.5 months along TODAY! Huzzah!

I got my walkin' clothes on. Gotta stay active!

I worked on a sketch today. I'm going to paint it soon, hopefully.

WICKED

Today I:

2011-08-22T18:20:00.000-06:00

* Sketched Elsa's painting onto canvas. Just have to add the black and it'll be done!

*Did some paperwork.

*Watched a movie.

*Watched my girl dog hump my boy dog's head.

*Watched people get their ears candled.

*Got really bored at work.

*Was driven crazy by my dogs who want to go for a walk when it's still pretty hot outside.

*Ate pizza and strawberries.

*Did laundry.

I haven't even done very much, but I'm pretty exhausted.

Ok, so if I said that last statement out loud to anyone recently, I'd usually get this reply, "Well if you think you're tired now, just wait until the baby comes!" or something else about how I'm going to get less sleep once she's born. AS IF I'M NOT AWARE AND IT'S SOME KIND OF JOKE SURPRISE I'LL GET IN NOVEMBER. As if I'm totally not aware that I'm going to be tired when she gets here with the nighttime wake ups, breastfeeding, etc...
As if moms need to tell expectant mothers this while laughing. Let me just tell you, it's freaking annoying. It makes me want to slap them when they say it.
I have a right to be tired now, just like I have a right to be tired after I give birth. I wish I could expect people to comprehend how stupidly annoying they're being, but it seems like common sense and courtesy fly out the window sometimes from mom to mom. I will remember all these rude and irritating comments I'm getting now and will do a good deed by not saying them to an expectant mom in the future.
Another fun comment I'm getting is something to the extent of, "Oh you have no idea about [insert ANYTHING here] until you have a baby!" Obviously I don't know how exactly things will be AFTER she is born because SHE ISN'T BORN YET. So right now, I can say what I want about how I'm feeling or any subject and it is OK.

Goodness gracious, is it that hard to comprehend?!

I read http://www.STFUParents.com before getting pregnant, and I used to think comments like this were atrocious when sent in as screenshots. It's even WORSE hearing it firsthand and having it on my own facebook wall.

/Rant.

Ben and I rearranged furniture in our bedroom last night (and by we, I mean he and some friends moved it). I cleaned up and mopped. It really opened up the room a lot and gave us some more room. We also got the treadmill out of the nursery, so that's going to be my project this weekend....arranging it how I want it!

That's all for now, I'm going to take my dogs out for a walk before they have heart attacks. Holy moly.

Good news!

2011-08-20T10:58:00.000-06:00

I found out yesterday that I was officially approved to go see the cardiologist I requested in Amarillo. I'm pretty happy about it. Yes, it's more of a drive, but I think the drive outweighs the crap I had to go through with the one in town. Stressing out a heart patient isn't exactly the smartest idea in the world.

Made it through my first week of work back at school. Next week, the elementary and up kids come back to school (which is how the higher ups will decide if they will hire me for a new classroom). The pre-K kids don't come back until the 29th. We've got another week in the school without kids. The class is pretty much ready...I guess some decorating could be done. I just wish I knew if I was getting a class so I could start preparing for it. I'm stuck right now, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

At a meeting yesterday, my coworker saw my stomach popping while Baby Ward was moving around. So weird! She is so strong!

I'm off to shower and get ready for the day. Working on a painting for my friend!

SOOOOO

2011-08-17T18:32:00.000-06:00

I have been working this week (yes, as an EA...no, it's not the greatest).

I got a call on Monday from the district office asking if I would come in for an interview. They are needing to open up classrooms (various schools and grades) depending on enrollment.

I had my interview today. They emailed me a list of three different benchmarks, one for K, one for 3rd, and one for 5th. We were to create a lesson plan that was to last 10 to 12 minutes and complete it with the interviewers. I chose the K benchmark about place value. It was similar to ones I had done with my first grade room.
I was nervous at first, but as soon as I got into the room, I did my lesson and then answered 10 questions that they had given me. I feel like it went well, but I feel like that after a lot of interviews...
Anyway, if I get one, it'll be awesome.
If I don't, I still have a job.

Either way, I'm gonna be OK.

ABC.....Z

2011-08-14T16:47:00.001-06:00

A. Age: 26.
B. Bed size: Queen.
C. Chore you hate: DISHES (Although, I am ALWAYS the one doing them.)D. Dogs: Rilo and Otis!
E. Essential start to your day: a shower
F. Favorite color: Green
G. Gold or silver: White gold
H. Height: 5’4"
I. Instruments you play: I used to play the flute....it was boring.
J. Job title: TEACHER (but I don't get paid for it.)
K. Kids: On the way!
L. Live: The butthole of America. (New Mexico)
M. Mom’s name:Cindy
N. Nicknames: Dani
O. Overnight hospital stays: 2 pacemaker surgeries
P. Pet peeve: Shitty indulgent parenting, habitual lateness, excuses, laziness
R. Right or left handed: Right
S. Siblings: 1 younger brother 1 older sister
T. Time you wake up: Soon 6:00am
U. Underwear: Yup, I wear it.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Carrots
W. What makes you run late: Usually nothing. I always like to be early or on time.
X. X-rays you’ve had: Dental and then of course for the pacemaker.
Y. Yummy food you make: I've posted pics of some, but I am known for my delicious cookies.
Z. Zoo – favorite animal: giraffes, tigers, and elephants.

Where did my summer go?

2011-08-14T09:51:00.000-06:00

I start work tomorrow.

I must say...I'm not excited. This is year 2 of me working at a job that isn't for my degree. I'm paying back student loans on an education for a job that I don't have. It's kind of depressing. I'd do something else, but there really isn't anything else in Clovis. This is a dead town. UGH. I know I've complained a lot in the last few posts, but it's getting really hard to find something good about this place. Every day, I hope that Ben goes into work and finds out that he has orders elsewhere.

YAY! I made scones!

2011-08-11T16:00:00.002-06:00

MMMM. SO GOOD.

Margot is always pleased to be laying on my belly. Even when Baby Ward kicks her.

He isn't spoiled at all. (Resting after a walk)

My sweet girl.

Ben and I are a great team. A friend needed an emergency sitter for tonight, and we said we'd help out. She has a son (12?), and 2 daughters (3 and less than a year). I began to make dinner (BREAKFAST!), and Ben hung out with the kids. Got her son set up on Halo, helped the 3 year old play with the dogs, and played with the baby. When the baby got fussy, he began to feed her, but she wasn't having it. So we switched. He took over dinner while I fed the baby. We bot got everyone's plates ready, and while they ate, I took the baby into the nursery and laid down in bed with her. She fought sleep, but sleep won. I went to go get my dinner and Ben had cleaned up most of the kitchen (the remainder of stuff that was left out was stuff I'd need for my dinner).
I'm a lucky girl.
He's a lucky boy.
We're a happy family.

The sandwich effect.

2011-08-09T22:40:00.001-06:00

6 months today!

I didn't end up getting the job.

My name was put in for the teaching position, but at the last minute the district decided to shut down another classroom at another school and just transfer a teacher over instead of hiring someone new.

Cram more kids into a classroom so that the district can save money.

Because that'll help our AYP (annual yearly progress), right? (That's how schools get funding each year) More students with less teachers.

There are positions at the district office being done by 3-4 people that should be done by 1 or 2. That's where our money is going...instead of into the schools to help our kids and teachers. Have the people who run the district really been out of the classroom long enough to not remember how things actually work?

This system is really messed up, and I'm not just saying that because it's IMPOSSIBLE to get a job out here. One principal told me that 45 people applied for ONE position. That is how awful it is out here right now.

I honestly can't wait to get orders out of here. A teaching job would have made me hate this place less. I've been positive for over 3 years, and I'm just done with this place. The majority of the people out here suck, it's dirty, the restaurants/stores in town don't even try because there's no where else to go, it's ugly, and you have to drive 2 hours to get any kind of break from this place.

Sorry for the negativity, but there aren't a lot of upsides to this town. I'm just thankful that Ben is here with me. You can surely bet that when/if he gets deployed, I'm fleeing from this town back to Missouri. My mom and dad talked this morning, and if I came back while Ben was deployed, I wouldn't have to pay for rent/utilities/groceries and they'd fence in the backyard for my dogs.

Yeah, my parents rule.

Goodnight!

How to not be a total douche bag, Lesson 1

2011-08-07T20:35:00.001-06:00

Movie theater etiquette:

In a movie theater, there are several rules to be followed to ensure an enjoyable experience for everyone. I know, it's weird to think that those people in chairs next to you ALSO paid to see the same movie you're seeing, but it's true. Here are some rules to follow at the movie theater:

1. Chew with your mouths closed.

I know, this is a hard one for those of you who grew up in homes with sloppy parents that didn't have manners themselves. We're old enough to know that once food goes in, your mouth shouldn't open again until you have swallowed. No one else wants to see or hear the popcorn, nachos, pickles, candy, etc...that you have purchased for 80% markup at the concession counter. I'm not saying that you can't eat! Heaven forbid, I know that some of you must have your movie snack. I'm just simply saying that I don't want to hear every crunch and slurp coming from your mouth.

This is what you look like to me.

2. Don't talk on your cell phone.

Yes, this should be a given, since you're at the movie theater. Some of you have forgotten this simple rule though! The movie theater has these handy things called doors from whence you can enter and exit at your leisure if you need to take a phone call. Phones also come with this handy feature called "silent" or "vibrate" so that you can still receive calls, but you don't disrupt the theater. I know that you might think that answering your phone during a movie is actually important and you're simply above everyone else, but you're not. Kindly leave or I might take your phone and chuck it at the wall.

3. Don't have audible conversations about things other than the actual movie.

The status of your lawn care, what you fed the baby, or what you're doing AFTER the movie aren't subjects that the rest of the theater needs to know about. In fact, we don't really care at all. Your life is mundane, and I didn't pay $8 to listen to you talk about your life. No one else really cares about it either. You are unimportant and so are your conversations once the movie has started in the eyes of those around you. Shhhh.

4. Keep your feet off the seat in front of you if it is in use.

It would be lovely if all theaters were like Fork and Screen and had plush recliners to sit in. Unfortunately, that is not how 90% of theaters are, so you should do the following options with your legs: cross them, place both feet firmly on the ground, sit cross legged. Do not put your feet on the seat in front of you if someone is in it, do not kick it, do not wiggle it with your feet. Just leave the person in front of you alone. It's not a massage chair, and they are uncomfortable enough as is without having your feet/legs violently shaking them.

(Do you really need a visual?)

5. If you must bring a child, please control him/her.

That would include following the rules above as well as making sure your child doesn't throw candy or throw fits. Your precious snowflake is not more important than the storyline. No one paid money to listen to a tantrum, and you shouldn't subject people to your child's whims. It makes him/her look like a brat, and it makes you look like a shitty parent. (Remember, there are doors for you to use at your leisure!)

Thank you.

Phew.

2011-08-05T21:36:00.001-06:00

Ben and I put the crib together today...took about 3 hours, but we did it! (Ok, ok, he did most of the work, but I was definitely helpful!)

The nursery is NOT set up how I want it yet, but I was DYING to get the bedding on it. I also wanted to wash all the clothes and blankets we had to get them stored away in drawers and not piled up everywhere.

Side view of the crib with diaper holder.

Awww, crib buddies!

Hard workin' man.

Front of the crib. I LOVE the design!

Inside of the crib!

Dresser/Changer. The blanket on top is the one my mom made.

So that's what we've got so far. The rest of the room is still a complete disaster, but I'm slowly but surely getting it put away.

23 weeks on Tuesday. I've been baking a lot, and had my cute apron on!

I made BBQ chicken packets the other day for dinner. Trying to come up with new meals for us to eat instead of the same old thing. They turned out great. Here's a picture:

Chicken was smothered in Oklahoma Joe's BBQ sauce, pineapple, and corn.

That's all for now, I need to go finish up the laundry...although it's hard to get up with a fluffy cat keeping you warm...

Today.Was.AWESOME.

2011-08-04T18:01:00.002-06:00

Why today was AMAZING:

1. Ben woke me up at 7am to tell me that he had made STAFF SGT! He worked hard for this, and I'm super proud. I was extremely exhausted, but peeled myself out of bed while he was moving around the house (after all, he got off work at 2am and was up already...). I suggested we go out for breakfast, so we headed out for IHOP. (After my shower, of course. I went to bed with wet hair and I looked like a mad scientist crossed with this guy:

2. We went to Walmart to get stuff for Ben's favorite meal: lasagna. Yes, I make if from scratch. Yes, you can be envious. So while we were there, I got some good news of my own. No, I'm sorry, I can't tell you yet. Soon enough though. It was enough to send both Ben and I over the edge of happiness!

3. I baked a ton of oatmeal raisin and peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies for Ben to take to work with him. (PS. he should be home any minute because he only has to work a couple hours tonight!)

4. The nursery furniture arrived today! The delivery guy was really nice and had a New England accent. Not thick and obnoxious (like Jersey accents), but subtle and fun. Reminded me of my sister and my family in CT and MA.

I WANT TO SET IT UP RIGHT NOW.

So that's about it, but I'm pretty stoked about this entire day.

Furniture will be here TOMORROW!

2011-08-03T16:05:00.000-06:00

...however...the desk and dresser are STILL in the nursery, so we can't set it up yet. Lame.

There are plenty of dudes Ben works with, they should just come over tomorrow and move that out!

In other news, I saw my belly move while Baby Ward was kicking last night. It was pretty rad/weird. Ben suggested the name Ariel again. As much as I like The Little Mermaid and what the name means (Lioness of God), I just don't think it fits her. I can't really explain WHY I feel like that already, but I do. It just doesn't fit. And I don't think Ariel Jean sounds as good as Gwendolyn Jean or Zoe Jean.

For non-baby news:
I made a complaint about my experience at the movie theater here in town, and I was sent 4 free passes for any movie anytime! When Ben and I had looked at movie times online, the movie was shown to have a 3pm start time. When we got to the theater at 2:30ish, the 2 people working the ticket counter were having a conversation and were messing up on other people's orders ahead of us. When it was my turn, I said, "2 for Crazy Stupid Love at 3, please." She looked at me and said, "What movie?" Ben repeated it, and she finally understood what we were saying. She then ran my card and as she's handing me the ticket stubs, she says, "And that's at 4:30, not 3." I said, "Oh, online it said 3." She replied snottily, "NO. Harry Potter is at 3." and then just dismissed me. I was slightly irritated. Before that, we had gone out to lunch at Jaliscos in town, and had the WORST waitress. Firstly, she was confused by "chicken taco salad". She didn't actually know what I wanted. I had to break it down for her. Our food came out before our drinks did. We had to ask for our drinks 3 times and for more chips and salsa 2 or 3 times. We also had to ask for the chili sauce that is supposed to come with the burritos. To make matters worse, she was scarcely around, so we had to wait to ask. This was just the last irritation.
ANYWAY.
I got a really nice email from the manager and she mailed them out promptly. Very nice.

Still waiting to hear from either school that I interviewed at. There was a freeze put on the positions, but apparently that was lifted today and the approvals should have gone out today. Yeah, we'll see. I will call tomorrow if I haven't heard anything by noonish. I don't want to be a bother, but I do want to start preparing my classroom (best case scenario) or decide if I want to sub or be an EA this year. Ugh.

And, my love for Matt Damon grew after watching this video.

2011-08-01T15:13:00.002-06:00

I've been working on trying to get the nursery sort of cleaned out to get ready for the crib and dresser/changer. They should be delivered anytime between tomorrow and Thursday! I'm at a standstill right now though because we need to get someone over to help Ben move a couple big pieces of furniture out of the nursery and into the garage.

As soon as I get the furniture set up, I can figure out what size paintings I need to do as well as where I want to put it. Right now, I'm stuck. The furniture delivery people should be calling me back soon to set up a time to deliver.

I did get one thing put up in the nursery!

I'm wanting to bake, but if I do, I send it to work with Ben. Usually, that wouldn't be a problem, but there are some people on his shift now that I'm not totally fond of...and I don't want them to enjoy homemade goodies. I'm sure that makes me sound like a jerk, but I don't really care. I've got pineapple upside down cake I could make as well as pecan bars.

I'm ready for fall weather.

I'm ready for fall baking.

I'm ready for fall clothes.

I'm also ready to find out whether or not I'm going to get a full time teaching position. There's a freeze right now on telling people if they've been hired. Basically, the district is trying to figure out if they can just transfer people around and make classrooms fuller rather than have to hire new teachers. I know that some of my friends in the district are stressing out because they have WAY too many kids in the classroom to be effective for each student. It's sad, but that's what happens when the district goes broke and the state has no money to help...and there are wasted jobs in higher up areas of the district. Eh. Oh well.

This week's menu:

2011-07-31T21:12:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to be good and come up with more than the normal stuff we always have for dinner, so here's what I've come up with:
(Keep in mind, Ben is a picky eater, and this actually proves to be a difficult task)

Monday: Ground turkey meatloaf with baked potatoes.

Tuesday: BBQ chicken packets (chicken baked in foil with BBQ sauce, pineapple, and onion) served with brown rice.

Wednesday: Ben's chili with cornbread

Thursday: Jambalaya served over white rice

Friday: Leftover jambalaya

Saturday: If we don't go out, jalapeno stuffed chicken breasts served with broccoli.

Sunday: Breakfast

Hopefully everything turns out well. I also have stuff to make nacho chicken bake, tacos (but we have those ALL the time), and quesadillas.

2011-07-30T10:45:00.001-06:00

Yeah, I know I didn't give any kind of real description of the baby shower in the last post, but I've been at a loss for words lately. Weird, because usually I have something to say about everything.

I'll start by giving my review on a documentary that Ben and I watched the night before last.

It's called, Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father. It was probably one of the most heartbreaking documentaries I've ever seen. I would put this in my top 3 favorite documentaries of all time. I will not spoil anything for any of you because I want everyone to see this. By telling you anything besides my feelings and the plot line, I know that it will ruin some of the emotions that you will feel.
The documentary is about a custody battle between Andrew Bagby's parents and the woman who is Andrew's suspected killer. The battle is over Zachary Bagby. Please watch it. I actually had trouble sleeping after watching it because it effected me so much. I was so moved, I sent an email to the maker of the documentary.

I had a strange dream last night. It began in a elementary school friend's old home. (I haven't thought about this place in YEARS). Me, Ben, Landon, Beth, Amber Larcom, and Falco were there. We were having some kind of party or get together. Amber and Falco both had hand, foot, and mouth disease. (In real life, Amber's son has this and I had seen it on facebook). Both of them kept trying to cough on me or drink from my drink so that I would be infected too. I kept trying to explain to them that I was pregnant and it could hurt the baby and to leave me alone. Beth and Amber left. Soon after that, we had to make a trip to the swimming center to watch Paula's (elementary school friend) brother perform in a swim meet. On the way there, Ben told me he'd talk to Falco about leaving me alone. I couldn't understand why he was trying to do that to me. Also on the way there, it was dark and there was a great arch in the sky, looked kind of like a power line (but way bigger) and was lit up. As we got closer to the swim center, the huge arch disappeared, and I was told that it was just smaller power lines with birds on them. It didn't make sense. We got to the swim center, and then the dream changed. I probably shifted in my sleep or rolled over and it began another dream. This time, I was with Ben's family at an amusement park and we were planning on going on this water ride (that is ALWAYS featured in my dreams about amusement parks) and we were going to make normal faces when the picture was taken. Nicole (Landon's ex gf) was there and was making everyone late by doing her hair. We rode the water ride and then Ben decided he was hungry. He went into one of the restaurants at the park and ordered a meal that was $10, but only came with 3 chicken strips.
That's when I woke up.

And there you have it.

Baby Shower!

2011-07-28T15:35:00.001-06:00

5 1/2 months!

Nerds at the baby shower

The Dangler Siblings

It was actually kind of intimidating to open these in front of everyone...

My awesome diaper cake made by Mary Dangler!

Guess the baby food.

Sam Sachs knows her baby food!

What candy bar is melted in this diaper?

I love my mommy.

I also love giraffes.

My mom is the BEST blanket maker.

Ben, Jack, Alex, Me, and Mom

Ward family

Wooooo 5 month check up!

2011-07-12T21:14:00.002-06:00

Ben and I had our 5 month ultrasound and check up today!

First thing she checked was the gender, and yes, she is definitely a girl! Her heart looks perfect and the heart rate is 157. Checked the cord, spine, arms, legs, brain, face, stomach, fluids, etc, and the doctor says that everything is right on track and she looks perfectly healthy. I got my blood drawn and tested last month, and everything came back normal! We got a dvd of the ultrasound, and luckily, she was moving around most of the time. She sucked on her fingers and her arm at the end, I think she was getting tired. (She's not tired right now, because she's kicking me!)

It was really cool to see her movements AND feel them at the same time. The other night, I actually felt one with my hand. Very slight, but soon, Ben will be able to!

We'll be coming home in a few days and I can't wait to see everyone!

_______________________

Talked to Aimee and Mary today (3 way call) and had a total rant about some stuff, and it felt AWESOME to get it out in the open.

______________________

I'm also doing really well in ignoring people's advice for me while pregnant. Everything that I'm doing, I do for a reason.

There are plenty more things that I've gotten "advice" about, and it's all pretty annoying. A lot of moms think that they know everything as soon as they squeeze the kid out. Knowing it all and having an experience are 2 different things, let's remember that, folks. Usually, I wouldn't mind this constant barrage of unsolicited knowledge being thrust at me, but it's hard to take in large doses and hard to take when my own thoughts and feelings are being tossed aside as if I don't have any idea what I'm talking about. It's ok, I've actually talked to a lot of people, looked up a lot, and talked to my doctors, so I am on the right track.

2011-07-11T12:24:00.003-06:00

This is me, today. 5 months tomorrow!

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. The baby was up and moving around and it was so awesome feeling it. A couple times she punched/kicked/head butted me really hard, and one of those times, I had my hand on my belly and I felt it inside and out!

Phew. I've been so busy today getting ready for our trip and what not. So far, I have:

1. Talked to Mom about the shower.

2. Talked to Mary about the shower.

3. Confirmed my attendance at a showing of HP7 in MO.

4. Paid bills that are not automatically debited.

5. Emailed the person in charge of the graduate school at ENMU.

6. Done 3 loads of laundry.

7. Ate lunch.

8. Cleaned the kitchen.

9. Wrote a note to the person watching our house.

10. Had an interview for a position at a school.

11. Continued the list of things to NOT forget to bring.

12. Let our friend's dogs out while they are not in town.

And I still have stuff to do:

1. Give dogs baths.

2. Vacuum house.

~~3. Dust house.~~

4. Mop house.

5. Clean bathroom.

~~6. Finish laundry.~~

7. Pack.

See? What did I tell you? I'm a busy girl!

I already want to start packing for Missouri

2011-07-06T19:04:00.001-06:00

...but I still have 8 days to go.

Clovis is full of negativity, and if you don't work at it, you get sucked down into it. I've been doing my best to just keep to myself, be polite, etc...but I need a break. Phew. I think the monotony of the town, the lack of anything to do, and the unhappiness that people face in their own lives turn people angry and resentful. I'm a happy person, I have so many wonderful things going on in my life, and I have a really caring family. That keeps me on the up and up. Just gotta make sure that the unhappy ones don't try and drag me down. It's happened before because I was walking around with my eyes half closed. They are wide open now.

Here's another reason why I am excited to go back:

The first tier of my diaper cake-being made by Mary!!!

A few thoughts in my head.

2011-07-04T18:17:00.001-06:00

1. If you're not going to wear sunscreen, don't complain and whine when you get a massive sunburn. It's freaking July, people. Wearing sunscreen so you're not in pain isn't rocket science. Gosh. Also, please put it on your kids. If you think it's uncomfortable, it's super painful for them too. Responsibility!

2. Fact: (1) Something that actually exists (2) Something that is known to exist or to have happened (3) Truth known by actual experience or observation, something known to be true. Something that can be proven true.
Opinion: (1) A belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. (2) A person view, attitude, or appraisal.

Do I really need to lay it out like this for some people? Fact is something that can be proven true. Opinion is something that you believe yourself, you could be right, you could be wrong. If people don't agree with you exactly, remember that you are not spouting fact. (Especially when it comes to child rearing, fashion, food, health, relationships, etc...) Just an FYI.

3. I know a lot about our neighbors just by walking the dogs everyday, and I realized this when I brought Ben along with us the other day. I'm also known as "The dog walking lady". I've been referenced by that at least 2 times in town by people that recognize me from the neighborhood. No, I'd never seen these people before in my life. I'm OK with this title. I'm active. Soon, I'll be "The dog walking lady with a baby". I'm OK with that too.

4. Most of the people on the Cannon Wives page on facebook are really bored housewives with no education who spout off information without checking it first. That is why I choose to ask my questions elsewhere.

Anyway, on to other things.

I love my new maternity skirt and shorts. They are so much more comfy than wearing the beband.

We're going to a fireworks display tonight! Hopefully, people will just go to that instead of setting them off in the country or even in their neighborhoods. It's rained 3 times here this year, and the wildfires have been out of control. I'm OK with no fireworks anyway. They freak me out.

Almost done journaling.

2011-07-03T09:23:00.001-06:00

Summer Challenges

Advice

Sounds of Summer

I make ________ well.

What's in my bag?

Today:

What a darn good day.

2011-07-02T17:29:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, out of frustration, I exclaimed that I needed some new clothes because Baby Ward is all the way down in between my hips. I can't button any of my summer skirts. Everything fits, I just can't button them. The BeBand is ok, but it's kind of hard to hide with some shirts. I needed to go and get some simple maternity stuff.

So off to Amarillo we go!
Now, because I only needed to go to 2 places (motherhood maternity and victoria's secret), Ben was happy. I know he hates shopping, but he realizes that I was getting a little tired of recycling the same skirt over and over again. So anyway, he finds some bras on sale (because pregnancy apparently makes you have to up your cup size), and they are SUPER comfortable. Good job to him. Then we go to Motherhood, and I find 2 shirts (on sale), a skirt, a pair of shorts, and a pin stripe skirt for when I go to work in the fall. Not a bad little haul. I'm sure I'll have to get a pair of jeans, but those can wait for now. As of this moment, I'm a happy little camper because I'm going to have comfortable clothes!

Then, Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch! MMMMM.

Right now, I'm relaxing at home (after doing a small amount of tidying), and Ben is on base getting some snacks (apples and strawberries with some fruit dip!) for me and some stuff for him too. We're going to have a movie night in. Tomorrow, we're going to a BBQ with some of his coworkers. Love the people who are throwing it, they are really nice people. Hopefully, there will be no drama...

Anyway, I'm off to stumble around the internet. More journal pages coming later on...I'm a slow poke.

Things to do in MO:

2011-06-29T16:02:00.001-06:00

1. Shop for a crib/dresser at Nebraska Furniture Mart.
2. Get my wedding ring cleaned.
3. Have baby showers.
4. Get some dang maternity pants/shorts/skirts. (My hips are much wider than my waist, and Baby Ward is quite comfortable laying low...which makes buttoning my pants hard!)
5. Hang out with all of my friends (duh.)

That's all I can think of right now. I've got a million thoughts running through my head.

Here's the most recent picture of the belly:

Huzzah!

Finally getting my cardiologists switched.

2011-06-29T10:48:00.002-06:00

So here's my problems with the cardiologist here in town:

1. He doesn't actually like women. When Ben goes with me to an appointment, he talks to BEN, not me, and expects Ben to answer all the questions about how I'm feeling and any symptoms I'm having. Yeah, that makes sense.

2. It took him 4 months to figure out that my pacemaker battery was dying. He tested my blood for all kinds of problems, and actually told me, "When I first saw you, I thought you had a thyroid problem." What is that supposed to mean? He had me wear a heart monitor for 24 hours and then neglected to call me with any results. He scheduled me for appointments, but then basically told me he didn't know why I was feeling out of breath, dizzy, tired, etc...

3. His office has rescheduled my appointment times to get my pacemaker checked several times without telling me, then when I come in, they tell me I missed my appointment. The ladies at the front office sneer at me and tell me that I'll have to wait while they find room for me in the jam packed schedule. When I try to have them listen to the voice mail that I get telling me my exact appointment time, they ignore me. Once, I went in, and they had locked the doors and weren't answering the phone. I left, and 30 minutes later, they called asking why I had missed my appointment. I told them I was there 10 minutes early for my appointment, and the doors were locked. They told me that they were there and were waiting one me.

4. The front desk refuses to do anything BUT make appointments. The front office person that used to work there would send in the referral renewal paperwork to make sure I was completely covered by TriCare whenever I went in. I had already had a doctor refer me there, the front office person would just renew it. The appointment I had a couple months ago, I had made and asked them to check and make sure that my referral hadn't expired. The person that works there now said I was fine. I called the day of my appointment, and they told me that I didn't have any referral and no one had told me that I did and that I would either have to reschedule (the pacemaker people are only there once a month) or pay for it all out of pocket. I asked her if there was any way she could help me, and she told me no. I called the TriCare office, and they wanted to speak with the doctor's office. She refused to call them. When she finally did, she said that TriCare had said they weren't going to pay for it. I finally got a hold of Dawn at the TriCare office and she took care of it for me. When the doctor's office called me and told me that the referral had come through, they were snappy on the phone about it.

This has nothing to do with the people that come from Amarillo to do the pacemaker checks (because the doctor's office isn't equipped to check them), the errors come from the doctor and his employees.

All of this stress compounded with the fact that I have a heart condition isn't helpful to me at all. I don't enjoy being jerked around and having people give me attitudes when I'm trying to take care of myself.

I had an appointment to get my pacemaker checked on the 24th. They called and confirmed my appointment, and then called back 5 minutes later and told me that the people who come to check the pacemakers had suddenly cancelled. This has never happened before and the front office person couldn't give me a reason. She rescheduled me for the 29th of July, over a month after my appointment date. This was the final straw, I've had enough. I called and made arrangements to be seen by the doctor who performed my replacement pacemaker surgery in December of 2009. I don't mind making the drive to Amarillo as long as I don't have to be seen by the doctor here in town.

More journaling.

2011-06-28T19:07:00.002-06:00

Superpower

Pictionary

Favorites

Needs and Wants

Favorite Quote

Family tree

3 Wishes

I'm having a good time doing these pages!

2011-06-26T23:06:00.000-06:00

Not to sound like a Debbie Downer, but this year's birthday just wasn't that exciting.

I am used to being home and having all my friends around me at a party, my mom and dad with me that day. Just wasn't the same this year.

We had a party last night, but no one actually knew it was my birthday until like 1am. Cool. Made me feel kind of crappy. Then I was supposed to pick my favorite place to go in town (Shoguns), but because no one else wanted it, I had to choose somewhere else. Cool. Nothing else special today, didn't even get to play The Game of Things. I'm actually pretty sad about it.

This was my golden birthday (26 on the 26th), and it was just another day.

My friends are here!

2011-06-24T09:23:00.000-06:00

YAY! At around 9:30ish last night, my friends Falco, Vanessa, and Eli came rolling up to our house from Missouri. I love having friends out. Makes living out here in Clovis more bearable.
No plans for today yet, I might take them on base to show them Ben's work...maybe grab some Burger King for lunch or something.

Last night, I had a dream that I was kidnapped along with my brother (not my real brother) and he was tortured by the kidnapper. Somehow we escaped and were trapped in Mexico City because the killer had paid the police off. We were on the run, and the American news and police were there...and somehow Kim Kardashian was involved and offered to give 1 million to the kidnapper to let us go free. I ended up escaping somehow and was walking through Walmart (although it was more like a mall) while talking on the phone with Mary trying to evade the kidnapper. After that, I woke up and decided to make myself some coffee. ha.

I made a couple more journal pages while watching movies. Ben decided to cancel one of our DISH packages to make our bill cheaper, and then got a really crazy good deal getting Shotime and HBO together. We are paying pretty much the same amount, and now we get to watch all the shows we like, and miss because they're only on those channels. I've been enjoying movies, and in 2 days, I get to watch True Blood season 4 premier!

What my heart is full of

Line design page

What's the deal

2011-06-23T10:08:00.000-06:00

with people flying off the handle lately? The littlest things are setting people off, and it's ridiculous. Shouldn't I be the crazy hormonal one, since I'm pregnant? Seems like people around me are just cranky. I guess I'll just have to deal, but DANG.

I did a couple more journal pages, but no pictures right now. I'm lazy right now. Gotta get over it because I have lots to take care of today.
To do list:
1. Clean bathroom rug
2. Clean window in guest room (soon to be nursery!)
3. Wait around for person from housing maintenance to come fix our bathroom light
4. Vacuum all floors in house
5. Remove dog/cat hair from furniture
6. Clean up kitchen
7. Declutter house
8. Clean up bedroom
9. Clean up guest room (soon to be nursery!)
10. Finish laundry

Phew. I can do it, I can do it. I don't want to, but I totally can.

Maybe instead of talking about it, I should just go do it. Yeah.

Everyone have a great day!

Playing catch up

2011-06-21T22:34:00.001-06:00

I stink at the journaling thing, but here's why...

2011-06-20T15:06:00.003-06:00

I AM HAVING A BABY GIRL! Yes, soon, I will have a daughter, and I couldn't be more happy!

We went to Miracle in Progress and got an early ultrasound done (I'm 16 weeks and 6 days as of today) to check the gender. If we waited for my next doctor's appointment, my mom and Mary would have 1 week to plan the baby shower around the gender. Plus, now I can register for specific stuff.

ANYWAY, it was a totally amazing experience. We go into this big room, and it's really nice and dimly lit. There are 2 couches in there for visitors to come in with you for the experience. There is a large bed (not the hospital bench things you lay on in the doctor's office) and right in front is a giant projector screen on the wall. I don't have to look at a small monitor, I can see my baby on the big screen! So we're checking everything out and the tech tells me that my baby has a very strong heartbeat. I'm not ashamed to say that this made me tear up a bit, especially because I could SEE her heart beating when I was told that. I had eaten before going in hopes of getting the baby to move around so we could have better luck checking the gender, but she was relatively calm. The tech showed me that her belly was full, and then the baby started to suck on her fingers and yawned really big, stretched and then settled in! I think she was about to take a nap. It was absolutely amazing to see! I was nervous that we wouldn't be able to see the gender, but the tech tapped on my belly and got a shot (after the baby finally moved her little feet out of the way). Definitely a girl!

It is so real. I am just so excited!

Sick sick sick

2011-06-13T15:02:00.001-06:00

I have a couple journal pages to post, but I'm still behind. Camp Inventions took it out of me, and then I got super sick yesterday.

Getting sick sucks always, but getting sick when you're pregnant is even worse. I can take the uncomfortable-ness, but I was just worried that it was going to effect the baby. I called the dr twice and got some advice. No cramping or anything. Just sore, in and out of the bathroom until like 3pm, and puked a couple times. Blech. I stayed in bed all day, and Ben went to the store to get me some plain chicken noodle soup and some bananas. (I read somewhere that they act as an antacid) Got a fever last night and tried to break it by drinking some water and having a cool compress on my head. It wouldn't go down. At 10pm, Ben drove down to the gas station and got some extra strength Tylenol for me. I took 2 and fell asleep. When I woke again at 1am, my fever was gone, and my back and legs had stopped hurting. I'm so glad to be feeling better now, Ben took such good care of me yesterday.

I'm resting today. Getting some laundry done, but taking breaks in between loads.

See ya later.

15 Weeks Today!

2011-06-07T21:56:00.002-06:00

The little baby growing inside me is 15 weeks old. I can't wait to start feeling the baby move around. I just CAN'T WAIT!

I have been looking for more resources around where we're living now, and there just aren't any. There are some on base, but nothing like there is in KC. I will wish until I'm blue in the face that we lived somewhere else. I know it's wearing on both Ben and myself. Driving the same dirty roads past the same broken down houses day after day. I'd love to be around my friends and more scenery. Ah well. Gotta stay positive. We won't be here forever.

My simple journal entry for today:

Speaking of CI, the other teachers are noticing the things that I noticed last year. The director homeschools her kids. Now, don't get me wrong, homeschooling is a viable option for some families if the parent is committed and knows what they are doing. Frankly, the director doesn't know what she's doing. She buys insanely expensive curriculum for each child, and her daughter doesn't know how to read. (She's in 2nd grade). I understand wanting to keep the kids "safe" from public school, but she's keeping them from knowing how to interact with other adults and children. They are rude, disrespectful, and don't follow any rules. One said that he didn't have to because his mom was the director. HA! Her youngest boy was running through a crowd of parents bouncing one of those small rubber balls and almost hit a bunch of people. He was supposed to be sitting down with his group. I came up to him and took his ball and told him that he needed to sit with his group and not run through the group. The director said, "Oh, Danielle, that's my son." Like I shouldn't get on to him or something? I said, "Yes, I know, but I think that he needs to go sit down and stop running around because he's tripping people." She told him to obey me and then smiled in a sweet sick way at me. I wanted to smack that smile off her face.

I can only hope that when I have my child, his/her manners will be better than that. I know they will be, because Ben and I have manners.

Camp Inventions

2011-06-06T19:03:00.000-06:00

One day down, 4 more to go. I'm so thankful that's it's only a week. The work isn't hard, but the lady who runs it is a BIT neurotic. She gets mega stressed about ANYTHING and it's silly. As a teacher, you have to learn to let things slide off your back because things get chaotic sometimes. She homeschools her kids, so she doesn't understand that. Oh well, it's $525 tax free for a week of easy work. That's a little over $100 a day. I'm definitely OK with that.

I have a job interview on Wednesday for a job I'd REALLY like to have. I'm going to pray about it. At this point in my life, it would be PERFECT for me. I'm just going to pray and relax and I know whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Sigh. Sometimes it's really hard putting things in God's hands. That's where my life is supposed to be, just hard to do it sometimes.

I'm doing the 30 Day Journal Challenge (although I'm starting late because I saw that it started way late). I'd really like to finish all 30 days...although it may take me longer. I'm going to Las Vegas next week and I'm sure we'll be super busy.

Here's day 1. I need a new pen.

What have I been doing this week?

2011-06-05T08:41:00.000-06:00

*Trying to figure out new stuff to bake.
*Making a blanket
*Watching True Blood Season 3 (because it finally came in the mail!)
*Cleaning some
*Playing with my dogs

Sigh

2011-05-29T15:36:00.000-06:00

I'm resting now, but I've had an extremely busy morning. Ben and I cleaned the ENTIRE house today...by the end, I was having some pretty intense round ligament pain. Luckily, Ben helped so much and I was able to just lay down afterwards. Now I'm resting in the bedroom watching GLEE reruns on my DVR (yes, sometimes I sing along) and stumbling the web.

I baked some Heath bar cookies today. Haven't had any (they are for dessert for our company tonight), but Ben said they are good. I'll take his word. I made banana nut bread last night (from scratch), and I had a piece heated up with butter today after lunch and IT IS DELICIOUS. om nom nom.

Fooooooooooooood

2011-05-27T18:59:00.000-06:00

Food is so good.

Lately, I've been craving fruits and veggies. Got a bunch of fresh veggies from the grocery store (lettuce NOT from a bag, tomato, green onion, cauliflower, and avocado) to make a salad. I have croutons and tortilla strips to add as well as some ranch dressing. YUM. It's the best salad EVER.

I also have some fresh fruits. I used some of them to make a smoothie. I got strawberries, bananas, Simply Orange oj for the smoothie. Ben got me some grapes and raspberries to enjoy as well.

YUUUUUUUUUUUUM.

I'm a healthy little chick. (Just don't look in my freezer at the Reese's peanut butter cup Breyer's ice cream)

Names

2011-05-26T10:46:00.002-06:00

Names I like for the baby:

If it's a boy: Felix Benjamin Ward
If it's a girl: Gwendolyn Jean Ward

2011-05-25T20:10:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I can't help looking at the ultrasound picture. It almost feels unreal that I have a little life growing inside me. I've taken all kinds of steps to make sure that my body is a safe environment for the little one already. I've given up caffeine (week 2), sushi (immediately), I've been drinking more milk (luckily I've been craving it), I've been taking my prenatal vitamins, drinking more water (even though I have to pee ALL THE TIME), stopped drinking my herbal tea (not supposed to be good for the baby), and have been staying away from medicines.

I've given up a lot, but it doesn't feel like I have. It just feels natural to want to make sure that things are as perfect as they can be for my little baby. It's unbelievable that in a couple weeks (hopefully) I may be able to feel him/her move around. I'm sure I'll cry the first time.

So far, I like being pregnant. I feel different, but in a very good way. It's hard to explain. I'm the most important thing in the world to my baby right now, and that's a heady feeling. I can't wait to continue on in this journey!

Kurt on Glee.

2011-05-21T14:59:00.000-06:00

I'm really getting tired of having Glee's episodes revolve around Kurt and his "gayness". He's the most ridiculous stereotype of a gay person on TV.
He is: sassy, WAY into fashion, has a super high voice, dramatic, pushy with his beliefs for you to accept him because that's the only opinion that matters, sings show tunes, hangs out with ONLY girls (minus his new boyfriend), loves to dance, has a lisp at times, and goes against anything that could be considered masculine.

What is wrong with having a gay character that acts like they did before coming out? I have known people to come out, only to have suddenly gained a lisp and begun to talk like a woman in a higher pitched voice than they had previously.

Why does it have to change? You can still be the same person you were prior to coming out and like people of the same sex. You don't have to fall into a stereotype. It is absolutely ridiculous.

Surprise!

2011-05-18T20:06:00.000-06:00

Baby Ward is expected to be here Nov 29-Dec 2

Really?

2011-05-13T22:57:00.000-06:00

Some people just really surprise me, that's all.

Party all the time.

2011-05-08T10:56:00.001-06:00

Went to a party last night, it was pretty fun. I forgot that there are actually some fun people in this town. Like I've said before, Ben and I have been such homebodies...haven't really gotten out and around with people here much. Meh, I really don't think we've been missing out, but it was nice to get out last night.

I have someone ordering another Hello Kitty painting from me. I'm sure Megan Haney, who does our anniversary photography, showed my work to the newest customer and she contacted me. Thanks, Megan! I love doing stuff for other people, and I think this one is going to be a lot of fun.

Work is work, I'm tired and worn down from it, but I think that comes with the end of the school year. I'd love to say that the classroom I work in right now is wonderful, but I can't. I don't think that I'd enjoy working it another year just because of the lack of work from some of the adults. The kids are the ones who suffer. I can't do all the work and get paid for less than half of it. Not going to do it. Nope. I just need something to open up at Cameo or Ranchvale...hell, almost ANY school in the district so I can get my OWN classroom again.

I applied to the Masters program at ENMU, so hopefully I can get the ball rolling on that. Until then, I'll just sit and twiddle my thumbs.

Ben and I went and saw Thor in theaters today. It was OK, but they had to add in a darn love story. Hello...sometimes I just want some fighting and action in a comic book movie. Don't need to add in a love story bit for me. Nope. To add to my movie watching experience, I had a kid behind me (had to be at least 11 or so) kicking the crap out of my seat. I ignored it for about 10 minutes when I finally turned around and gave him a look. The kicks continued. 2 more looks from me, and finally I just turned around and said, "Please stop kicking my chair." It stopped for about 30 minutes and then started again. I asked again. Loudly, the dad said, "Are you still doing it? Just switch with your brother." Yeah, good idea...except that didn't happen and the little shit kept on kicking. Had I been his mom or dad, I would have been on his case to knock it off. It's the mindset that parents get into where they think their kids don't do anything wrong...and ruin things for people.
I obviously like children, I'm a school teacher for goodness' sakes. My problem with kids usually goes directly to the parents. What is wrong with parents lately? Are they really afraid to discipline their children? Do they not know that the kids HAVE to listen and that the parents are in control? I actually had a mom tell me that she couldn't clean out her three year old son's backpack because he wouldn't let her have it. I wanted to say, "Ok, lady, watch me. I take his backpack from him every single day." Stupid lazy parents. After the first look, I would have let my kid know that he needed to stop flinging his legs around like he was having a seizure. After all of it, I would have really gotten onto him. You're teaching your kids that it's ok to ruin someone's experience at a movie theater. Good job.

Frightmare Weekend so far

2011-04-30T16:37:00.000-06:00

So far, this has been an amazing trip.

Today:

Woke up, and had a warm breakfast at the hotel. Actually managed to get everyone up and moving, even if it was a bit slow going. Didn't make it to the convention at the time I wanted (didn't think that would happen), and it took us some time to figure out which line we needed to be in. Once the doors opened, the long line I was standing in turned into nothing as I was ushered inside in less than a minute. I immediately made haste to Malcolm McDowell's line, which I got into with hardly anyone in front of me. Ben and I were pretty lucky. We got our copy of A Clockwork Orange signed, and got to take pictures with him. It was really cool meeting someone so famous, and someone that was in one of my favorite movies. I was pretty ecstatic.
After that, Mary, Sam, and I went around wandering through the crowds. We ended up spotting Brian Austin Green (who I've become a fan of since Desperate Housewives). The line to see him was pretty long, but somehow, Sam just jumped in front of everyone and we got to take a picture with him. The people at their table were really nice and not charging for pictures. They said they just wanted to meet fans and promote the movie. Pretty awesome!
After that, we wandered some more and decided to head back to the hotel and then go get lunch. When we got back, we went straight back to the convention so that we could get a picture with Cary Elwes and have him sign our copy of The Princess Bride. We were standing in line, and someone had come around saying that if we wanted to go get autographs from someone else in the room, we could skip the line and get to Cary quicker. Mary decided to follow him and then just got in line to see Cary. She ran back and grabbed us and we ended up somehow cutting like 30 people in line to see him. I have no idea how we didn't get stopped, but luck must have been on our side. I got my movie signed, and Ben and I got a picture with him. It was wonderful. He also wrote, "As you wish" on my movie and signed the actual DVD. I was overwhelmed with happiness. Yet again, we got to meet someone we wanted to quickly and without any trouble!
We headed downstairs and Mary, Sam, and I got in line to meet the boys from The Boondock Saints. They were all REALLY nice and took pictures with us.
Finally, we were ready to leave, when all of a sudden...Anchor Bay productions started giving away these sharktopus stuffed animals I had been trying to get ALL day. Ben and Landon ran over to see if they were going to throw them out, but they were asking trivia. No one was getting it, and then they asked, "What are two celebrities that die in Scream 4?" Landon screamed out 2 celebrities from the movie and WON! I got my toy, and funny thing is, he didn't even see the movie!

I have officially done everything at Frightmare that I wanted to do.

Tonight, we're going to medieval times, and then possibly going to a midnight showing of The Human Centipede. I'm sure it'll give me nightmares.

How wonderful!

Another GREAT weekend.

2011-04-25T20:55:00.000-06:00

Friday, we went out with some friends to Kelly's. At first, it was a little awkward because I hadn't seen some of these people in quite awhile, but after awhile it was just fine. I realized how lucky I am to A. Not be single in Clovis and B. Not be single and desperate enough to try to find a one night stand on the dance floor at Kelly's. Seriously...these people were REALLY desperate. Ick.

Saturday, we woke up and needed to run a couple errands in town. This turned into an antique shop adventure and we visited a few shops here in town. First shop was my favorite because we found these 2 gems:

Cutest owls ever, right? The cookie jar is actually from the 60s. It's proudly displayed in my kitchen now, along with the salt and pepper shakers!

Saturday night, we spent the evening watching Twin Peaks on Netflix and just hanging out with one another. It's one of our favorite past times.

Sunday, I woke up around 9:30am and came out into the living room. The kitchen was clean spotless, the living room was picked up, and I had a giant Easter basket waiting for me on the counter.
Yeah, I have the best husband ever.
I made a roast cooked in beef broth with red potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery with a strawberry triffle for dessert. So wonderful! We had some of Ben's coworkers over for dinner, and there were NO leftovers.

This week at work, I only have 3 work days, and 2 of them are with kids. Today, I was blessed in having 2 of our most difficult children stay at home for some reason. I know it won't be the same tomorrow, but it was a nice way to come back on a Monday!

I'm off to get ready for bed. The pets are all sprawled out after running around the house with me playing with the rope toy.

Homebody.

2011-04-17T11:39:00.000-06:00

For the last 3 weekends or so, Ben and I have pretty much just stayed to ourselves. We've stayed in and watched movies, or we've gone to dinner just us and out to see a movie. We've spent the day either running around town or just enjoying each other's company at home. It's been really nice.
For us, who normally go out to parties on the weekends or get together with people, it's been a really nice change to just hang out with one another. We're not upset at anyone or avoiding anyone, we're just enjoying being together and I love it.

Yesterday, we spent the day around Clovis taking pictures of different things. Ben has a good eye for stuff and it was a really good time. Most of the things he took pictures of are really ugly buildings in town, but in the pictures, they look very interesting. Here's a couple of my favorites:

We also got a treadmill yesterday! Got it really cheap from a friend who just wanted it out of their house. Now we've got it set up in the guest room. I'm excited because when it's really windy outside (like 60mph wind like we had earlier this week), I can still walk 2 miles and get some exercise in. Not like I don't get enough at work running after all the kids, but it's different!

Otis started obedience school officially this week and by the end was doing so much better. All I want is for him to pay attention to me on walks and not act aggressive to men and dogs when he's on a leash. That's all I want. Manners! My good friend Elsa has been going with me with her great dane.

There's a catch up of what's been going on!

Guess what

2011-04-12T19:44:00.000-06:00

I'll be in Dallas in about 3 weeks.

I'm pretty stoked.

Today, I was driving through Clovis and had this thought, "I hate this stupid ugly little town. It's so gross."
Guys, it really is.
Here is why:
1. It smells like cow poop/cheese factory most of the time.
2. Unless you live in a couple of neighborhoods, your's is most likely run down with junkyard yards.
3. There are tons of stray dogs-probably escaped from abusive homes.
4. I know there's rampant dog fighting.
5. Bored/boring people try to hurt others for fun.
6. The nearest shopping is 2 hours away and in a different time zone.
7. My friends and family are 12 hours away.
8. The decor and taste around here is appalling. I can't believe people buy some of the stuff that they do.
9. No real grass. It's red dirt and weeds.
10. The 40mph or more winds EVERY DAY.

So, I'm definitely excited about getting a chance to get out of town with my best friend (Ben, of course) and go to a real city to see more friends!

GRR.

2011-03-30T18:51:00.000-06:00

Well, I was out on a walk with the dogs when Otis decided to act like a lunatic and go after another dog. While struggling with him, I got scratches on my feet and my phone was flung out of my pocket resulting in the glass breaking. It still works, so I'm super thankful, but I am still really upset.
I'm not even going to post a picture of it because it's so upsetting. Ugh, I hate looking at it now.
Luckily, Ben is great and is looking for a way to fix the glass online. He's good at finding solutions to problems like this. He fixed my computer earlier this week when a virus ravaged it. Blah. So frustrating with electronics lately.

I found out yesterday that Malcom McDowell (from one of my favorite movies A Clockwork Orange) is going to be at Frightmare Weekend. I'm so freaking excited to meet him and am going to have him sign my special edition copy of that movie. Huzzah!

That's all for now, I'm off to do something more productive.

I think I want to try using oil paint

2011-03-24T19:59:00.000-06:00

I have this octopus sketch all drawn up, but I haven't put it on canvas yet. I keep picturing the finished work in my head, and I picture it done in oil paint. I think I'm going to break down and just go and buy some. Maybe a starter kit or something....

Still waiting on orders out of this place. Honestly, I wouldn't change that we went here, but I'm ready to go. The people are getting worse and worse as time goes on, and my patience for dealing with them is waning.

Here is why I wouldn't change coming to Clovis:
1. We got Otis here
2. We got Margot here
3. I had my first real teaching job
4. I met some really amazing friends (unfortunately, most of them are gone...)

Now, having said that, I'm thankful, but ready to go!

Why today was great:

2011-03-19T20:04:00.000-06:00

1. Woke up thinking it was Sunday, realized it was Saturday.
2. Craved a greasy hamburger and fries (and got it at place we hadn't been to before-Bill's Jumbo Burger)
3. Got showered/dressed and went to town with Ben and got lunch.
4. Went to BBW and got a free lotion and a free tote along with purchasing a new lotion-Apricot Vanilla. Love it. Also voted for a new fragrance!
5. Went to Hastings-didn't get anything.
6. Found a grocery store that actually has good produce (Walmart and the Commissary are AWFUL)
7. Went to Walmart and stocked up on everything we needed, found Pomegranate Shampoo for $3 (on sale), got some new makeup. Got some guac (and I'm thinking about digging into that right now!)
8. Came home, cleaned up a bit, and took the dogs out on a walk. Rilo wasn't on her leash the entire time and stopped before going into any street. Otis was off his leash for the last bit of the walk and stayed next to me!
9. Ben and I decided to stay in tonight and just hang out with one another. He's playing his new video game and I'm just browsing the internet. Totally relaxing.
10. Found this: www.thundershirt.com and am considering getting it for Otis. The walks may go a bit better, especially if there is another dog in his eye sight.

I had a fantastic weekend, and here's why:

2011-03-14T10:18:00.000-06:00

Friday:
*Went out to Shoguns with a group of people and then went bowling.

Saturday:
*Drove to Albuquerque
*Shopped all day and got some really cute new stuff
*Dressed up fancy for a date
*PF Changs-made a reservation so we didn't have to wait 45 minutes
*Hard Rock Casino
*Gambled $20 on roulette and turned it into $99!

Sunday:
*Lunch at the Owl Cafe
*Shopping at Whole Foods
*Home to the pets
*Slept for about 14 hours.

Best of all, I did all this with Ben!

Whyyyyyy

2011-03-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

I finished Mary's painting finally! It's so much easier to get stuff done when Ben is working!

We had a going away party for Sissy last night. Had dinner at El Rancho, and I was apparently talked about by a couple people. How fun.
Went to the bar after, and that was actually fun!

Things I'm excited about:
1. Spring break
2. Albuquerque
3. Tax returns
4. Shopping
5. Dallas

That is all.

I covet MAC makeup

2011-03-03T21:20:00.000-07:00


Pink Lemonade

Exxxhibitionist

Stars 'n rockets

electric eel

Aqua

Plumage

Goldmine

Shimmer moss

2011-02-28T19:42:00.001-07:00

Menu this week:
Luau Chicken
White Chili
Honey Vanilla Chicken
Bacon Jack Chicken Sandwiches

We're trying some new stuff.

Working on a painting right now for my friend Mary. She's down in the dumps because the world is pooing on her right now.
I wish I was closer so I could help her out more.

More things I covet:

It's been awhile.

2011-02-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have not:
1. felt like writing in here because I'm STILL dealing with people bad-mouthing me.
2. felt creative, so I haven't worked on any of my 4,000 projects lined up.

I have:
1. been missing my Missouri friends. You don't realize how important people are in your life until you are surrounded by people that aren't.
2. been working my butt off at work and at home and making next to nothing for it.
3. been looking forward to our tax returns.
4. been looking forward to spring break/Dallas/trip home to Missouri for the summer.

I'm tired.

My dream last night....

2011-02-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

So I had a super weird dream last night. In it, I was somehow dating Steven Tyler and he was some kind of General or leader in a war. (What the war was about and against whom, I'm not sure) Anyway, we lived in a tent, and I had all my belongings there. He was away, and the other "army" decided to attack. Not a normal army, mind you, think of Michael Jackson's Thriller, and that's how they came at me. Yeah, just me...there wasn't actually an army fighting on my side. Weirdly, they looked like zombie versions of Steven Tyler (probably because he's halfway looking like one in real life.)
ANYWAY
So the leader of the enemies has a daughter, and she goes in my tent/room and steals a bunch of my dresses. Pssh. Steven Tyler is nowhere to be found, obviously he is hiding somewhere like a coward. I go after the girl and her fancy room looking for my dresses. She is obviously evil too, so she won't give me my stuff back. I decide to start breaking her stuff, and then grab her hand and break that too.

Then I got my stuff back.

Then I woke up.

And that was my dream.

Best Picture Nominees We've Seen:

2011-02-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

Ranked in order of my preference:
1. Inception
2. Toy Story 3
3. Black Swan
4. The Social Network
5. True Grit
6. Winter's Bone
7. The Kids Are All Right

(still need to see: The King's Speech, 127 Hours, and The Fighter)

Since last time I posted the movies I had seen, I watched 3 more.
The Social Network:
I thought this movie was very good, a bit jumpy in parts, but I know they meant it to be that way. As far as Mark Zukerberg (sp?) goes, they paint him to be a villain...but I hardly think that's the case. With the twins and their associate, I feel as though as Harvard men, they should have been more proactive than phone calls and emails. Before the idea was decided upon, they should have drawn up some kind of contract or legally binding document to prevent their idea from being "stolen".
It sucks that his friend got screwed a bit, but money changes people, and as a business major, reading contracts should have been Business 101. He got the raw end of a deal, but also got a ton of money and had his part of the story told I suppose.

Winter's Bone:
This movie felt very real, as it should because most of the cast were actually people from the area it was shot in. I thought it was a good movie, but lacked a certain amount of flair. It was dead pan and linear from scene one. I did feel for the characters (and the uncle was amazing), but it wasn't my favorite story. I don't see this being a Best Picture nominee.

The Kids Are All Right:
*Sigh*
This was another "marriage-in-trouble-insert-cheating-here" story done with lesbians instead of a straight couple. I found myself not caring about the characters or becoming emotionally involved. Annette Benning did a fantastic job, and definitely deserves a Best Actress nomination. Julianne Moore can't do a movie anymore without showing some nipple, so I wasn't surprised when the nudity in the movie was her. The cast did a good job, but the story lacked and it's been done before...the only thing different was that they were lesbians. Definitely doesn't deserve to be put in the category of Best Picture.

Busy!

2011-02-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Things I would like:

1. To be done paying student loans.
2. To visit my family in CT.
3. For people to stop acting bigger than they are.
4. To see all my friends and family a lot sooner than April/May or June.
5. A super romantic Valentine's Day.
6. To perform in some aspect in the future.

That's all I got right now.

I'm working on my cookie sheet calendar still. It's a lot of work. Actually, a lot more work than I originally pictured, but that's ok. I like projects.

Snow day in New Mexico!

2011-02-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

It is soooooo cold outside. The fierce NM wind (thanks to the flat land and lack of real trees and mountains) is blowing like crazy causing the windchill to drop to crazy extremes like -24 at certain times. Yesterday, it was actually painful to walk from my car to the front door of the school. I couldn't see because the snow/dust was everywhere and I was cold all day, even in the building.
Enough parents complained that the school district had school that they decided to cancel school early yesterday for today. Imagine my surprise! Clovis almost never cancels school!

Today, my plan is to do some cleaning (because a house is lived in, and all my cleaning from last week was bound to not last!), start Mary's painting, and work on my cookie sheet calendar. I got the sheet covered and the days cut out last night. I need to work on getting the days of the week, different holidays, photos of people for their birthdays, months, and quotes made. It's a long project, one that will keep me busy. It looks awesome so far though.
I'm thinking about modge podging a piece of cardboard to match my bathroom and setting it on my over the toilet shelf so that my perfumes have something to sit on instead of wobbling around on the actual shelf. Just another thing to personalize my house!

I got 2 gifts in the mail from friends back home:

From Mary-because I don't have a Victoria's Secret around me...how sweet is she??!

An early Valentine from Aimee!

I really do have some of the most awesome friends EVER, don't I? How can I not feel blessed?

What I'm coveting right now:

Octopus pendant

Perfect for a crafty crafter like me, right?

Music I've been listening to lately:

Brandon Flowers

I like how his voice doesn't sound like everyone else.

Mumford and Sons

Folky and addicting music from some really talented guys.

Who is no longer unemployed?

2011-01-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

MEEEEEE.

That's right, my 3 day stint of being unemployed is over. Got the call from the school today saying that I officially have been offered the position. I'm so stinking excited!
I'm glad I got those 3 days off though. The stress from working at the daycare has melted off of me, and I am no longer a ball of tension and irritation. My house is super clean. All is well in my own little world.

Move forward.

2011-01-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Something that drives me crazy:
People who constantly post updates on FB complaining about stuff.
People who constantly post updates on FB with stupid stuff their kids do. (Some is OK, but most of what people post isn't worthy of a laugh.)
People who constantly bring up stuff that has happened YEARS ago to try to reconnect with people.

I just have to roll my eyes sometimes.

Add to the cleaning list:
*Use Magic Eraser on all doors
*Vacuum all furniture and floors
*mop all floors

Heck yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

Ben and I are trying to watch the Best Picture nominees before the Oscars.
Here are the nominees:
Black Swan*
The Fighter
Inception*
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3*
True Grit*
Winter's Bone
*Depicts a movie that I have seen

Out of the movies I have seen, I don't think I could pick a Best Picture. Each film displays a completely different story/emotion for me.
With Black Swan, I loved the way that the visual effects drew me in right away and the use of color depicted the characters. The dark twists and turns that it took kept me entranced in "another dance film". It wasn't about the dance, it was about perfection and the ever creeping madness hiding right under some of us.
Inception effected me deeply after the film. I couldn't stop talking about the ending and whether or not the top fell. In my opinion (only because I like happy endings), the top fell. I would like to watch it again to catch the subtle clues that I'm sure I missed the first time around.
Toy Story 3. After typing that, I shook my head. That movie moved me, brought out the child in me, and reduced me to tears at the end. Any animated film conveying that much emotion deserves to be nominated for Best Picture.
True Grit was a western that actually intrigued me. I think that in most cases, men get better with age. Jeff Bridges is one of the few men in Hollywood actually worth watching in every movie he is in. I can't think of a single move that he has been in that hasn't kept me entertained throughout. The story moved at a decent pace, my only issue was that the trailer gave away a lot of the plot, so I knew what was going to happen. The ending tugged at my heart, not because it was sad, but because it was the end.

So there are some of my reviews. Hopefully I'll get to see some more before Oscar night!

On Thursday evening,

2011-01-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

...I quit my job.

Since then, I have:
*Reorganized and deep cleaned my kitchen
*Moved my crafts to the guest room
*Alphabetized Ben's movies
*Cleaned all wooden furniture
*Cleaned all windows and glass in house
*Deep cleaned bedroom (including closet corners AND under my bed)
*Organized the utility room
*Cleaned the guest room
*Did all laundry in house
*Deep cleaned bathroom
*Dusted all art on walls

I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can remember off the top of my head. I also finished Aimee's present. It's my first endeavor into mixed media on canvas, and I had a lot of fun doing it.

I painted the background and tree with acrylic paint, and the bird, leaves, and flowers are scrapbook paper.

I also painted letters and hung them above our key holder in our entryway. Looks cool, and gave me something to do while I was home sick last week:

Giraffe print, of course.

Another interview tomorrow, and then continue to play the waiting game. It's super fun.

Things that I covet.

2011-01-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

All the plugs and jewelry are from HotTopic.com and the book is from Amazon. Just some stuff I've been wanting lately...

Had a pretty fun weekend! Friday I spent all day cleaning (because I obviously wasn't at work) and continued to work on the super secret project for my friend Aimee. Ben got home early and we hung out for just a little bit before I went to bed.

Hung out with the girlies last night at our faux slumber party. What a freaking blastie.

Spent today with Ben and the Searcys just having a grand old time being awesome.

My next craft idea:

Mine will be WAY cooler though.

Well...

2011-01-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

I did it.

I quit my job.

Today was just the final straw. I haven't wanted to work there for some time now, and my frustration level hit the roof and I came home crying. Ben told me that I didn't have to go back. (I swear, that man is just so wonderful sometimes!) I hate coming home upset and angry. I hate dreading going to work. I hate getting up at 5:30am every morning, I hate being so exhausted all the time. There's not a lot of positive going on here. I don't want to go in and be resentful because I'm not happy with where I'm at. That's not a good mind set to have. So
I decided to quit, with Ben's support.

With all of my nervous energy, I deep cleaned the kitchen, did all the laundry, and matched up all the loose socks in the house. Tomorrow, I hope to tackle the bathroom.

Negativity

2011-01-19T19:03:00.001-07:00

There has been a lot of negativity floating around in the air lately, and I think it's time to put a stop to all of it. I'm letting go of my anger and resentment and moving forward. I won't forget about past wrongs, but it isn't healthy for me to hang on to things like this. It's hurtful, but I've learned from situations that have arisen.

This world is a beautiful place. Time to start remembering that.

I've decided to put all my excess energy (what energy??!) into some new crafts. My first one is a new painting involving a different medium. I'm going to use scrapbook paper for parts of it and use Modge Podge to add some texture. I'm hesitant to start because I really want it to work out. I've also got a painting idea in my head for Grandpa Ward, but I haven't started that yet either. I guess I need to get them out of my head and onto some canvas, right?

Saw True Grit with Ben. It made me cry at the end. I can't really explain very well WHY it made me cry, because the ending wasn't sad. I just will feel so strongly for a movie that I won't be able to let it go for awhile. Same thing happened with Inception. I couldn't shake my sadness at that movie. Schindler's List....felt sad for DAYS. I just have a hard time with movies like that, but True Grit was different. Everything was wrapped up, but something just stuck with me.

Anyway, life is beautiful.

Friendship

2011-01-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

This week, 2 of my friends really stepped up after I have been having somewhat of a long week.
I want to say that I can't thank them enough for being awesome.
Mary called me and got me Heavenly perfume from VS because she knows I don't live near one. She thought of me when I'm 11 hours away and got me a gift. It wasn't the gift that I was so happy about, it was the fact that my best friend thought of me.
Elsa and I took a day to ourselves yesterday. Sushi and shopping in Lubbock. It was really nice to just go out and have a day.

Thanks to my friends!

Home sick today

2011-01-10T11:55:00.000-07:00

Went to work this morning and was sent straight home after having a coughing fit in front of my boss. Got in to see a doctor first thing, and it's just a really bad cold. I was told to rest today, and then I could work tomorrow.

Things to do while I'm resting:
1. Laundry
2. Paint
3. Read
4. Watch movies

Yeah, I think that I can manage those things on a freezing cold Monday.

2011-01-09T16:38:00.001-07:00

Found that on http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com and it made me smile.

Chiefs play today against the Ravens in the playoffs. They'd better win, otherwise I'm going to have a very unhappy husband at home. I have a couple friends at the game today, and I feel jealous/bad for them. Jealous because they're at a playoff game, but bad for them because with the windchill it's supposed to be 14 degrees out today. EEK.

A full week of work ahead of me. Haven't had that in 3 weeks. I'm sure I'm going to be exhausted by the end of it. UGH.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a pretty quick and quiet weekend. Not really looking forward to the work week, but I will put a smile on my face and kill people with kindness if I have to.

Still coughing up a storm and I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose a lung in a minute here. At least my abs are getting a good workout...but dang, it's wreaking havoc on my ears, throat, and chest. I'd like to call in sick tomorrow, but I know that's not really a possibility.

Until next time!

Lesson learned.

2011-01-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

Relaxing at home tonight with Ben. He's watching the playoff games and I am taking a break from painting nursery letters for a new customer. Jungle themed.

I've been coughing and sneezing up a storm and I'm looking forward to my allergies/cold going away so I can not feel like my head is going to explode with snot. I also ran into a wall after sneezing earlier, so I need that to stop too.

I know I was just on vacation, but I am ready to go back...or take a week to just sleep. Being back in this town is exhausting...especially when people are bored and don't have a whole lot to do except for talk. I'm ready to be back with my friends and just relax. I'm ready to spend the days with my mom again.
Basically, I'm just ready to not be here again for awhile.

Buuuuut, since I'm stuck here, I just have to keep my head up and count my blessings.

1. I have a support system (even if they are 12 hours away)
2. I have a husband that loves me and defends me.
3. I have a hobby that makes me money as well as keeps me happy and busy.
4. I have a college degree (even if it isn't being used at the moment)
5. I have a positive outlook on life.

Time to get my craft area revamped so it's more usable.

SIGH.

2011-01-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

What a day.

Work was easy, but the tasks that I was dealing with were not.
I learned a lot today. Some of which, I already knew, some were brand new.
It's ok though, life goes on.

I grab the bull by the horns. That's just how I roll.

I had a fantastic time with Elsa on our dinner date, even being congested. Came back home and I needed to rest. The coughing is really taking it out on me.

I can barely keep my eyes open, so I'm going to skip my happy little self off to bed.

All is well in my home.
I have:
1. A husband who loves me.
2. A home furnished with original art (both mine and others)
3. 3 pets who are just absolutely lovable and wonderful.
4. A mom who supports me in everything I do.
5. A family system that supports me in everything I do.
6. Friends who are here for me, even if most of them live 12 hours away.

Life is good, and I love reminding myself of it!