Whoa! I've lost 7lbs!

So last night, Ben calls me.  I had just gotten done logging my calories/exercise for the day (keep in mind: I'm not trying to lose weight...I have a heart condition and it's time I started being conscious about what I'm putting in my body.) and I had just weighed myself for the weekly weigh in...and I thought the scale was broken.  I had weighed 5lbs more at the doctor's just 2 weeks ago.  I've never tried to lose weight before, so I didn't think it comes off that fast.  I told Ben we needed to get a new scale because our's was wrong.  He told me he had just weighed himself and it was correct.
Guess the 2mile walks with the pups have been paying off!

come on, who wouldn't want to make these cuties happy by taking them on a walk?

Anyway, go me!


Today was a super easy day at work!  I got to work on the backdrop for pictures with Santa for the majority of the morning and then when it was time for me to go back in the room, we only had 3 and it was naptime.  I put them all to sleep and then I'm pretty sure I drifted off a bit.  It was so peaceful, quiet, and warm.  There's a certain air a place gets when babies are all taken care of and sleeping soundly.  I couldn't help it!  Left at 3 and grabbed Quiznos (my sandwich had less calories in it than a value burger/fries from Wendy's!) and went home to watch Californication. 

I've missed Ben quite a bit this week.  He's working the night shift, so we really only have a couple hours together before he goes to work.  I've put off going to the store all week because I want to get home quickly to see him.  Our only interaction is that couple hours he has with me before work and when I stir when he gets in from work and kisses me goodnight.  (I sure do love him bunches)

Ok, enough mush.  I'm going to go sing Christmas carols while I clean.

Watching Californication

Had a really nice dinner date with my friend Elsa.  She's probably one of the easiest people to hang out with.  Very fun and chill.  We had dinner at Jaliscos and then drove around looking at actual nice houses in Clovis. (I know, people, it's a shock.)  

We actually saw a mansion.  Picture a culdesac...that house WAS the culdesac.  It was brick and stone, had one of those balcony things on the 2nd story (where I would put a lounger and would sit and drink coffee and read), GIANT windows, columns, archways....it was just beautiful. 

Anyway, driving around and not doing anything in particular was just what I needed after a busy day yesterday.  

Today was a relatively easy day.  I'm trying to staying positive about Clovis, but around this time (like right before I go home to MO) I get really negative about it.  Just getting homesick I suppose.  The neighborhoods look trashier, the junkyard yards look more diseased, the people in town are more unfriendly, and people that irritate get under my skin even more!  I'm laughing about it now, but I really see these things!  I'll just continue to let things brush off my shoulders because I know it's just because I'm about to go back to see everyone!

I've got a White Elephant party to go to on Saturday.  Was going to be at my house, moved now (which is nice, because now I don't have to be the host and get my house party ready) to the Bantau house.  I've already got my present.  Hopefully everyone brings cool stuff.  

A night of wine, friends, and finger food sounds good, right?

I've started to use myfitnesspal application on my phone.  I'm watching my calorie/fat intake.  Not so much to lose weight (because I'm at a really healthy weight), but I want to eat much healthier.  With my heart, I don't want to take many chances.  I'm finding that I eat pretty healthy as is, but it'll be nice to have a reminder handy.  

Choices

Everyone makes choices in their lives.  You make the choice to do good or be good, or maybe stray in the other direction.  Many will use excuses and blame other people (I was abused, my mom/dad wasn't around, I didn't have money growing up, etc...), but it is always your choice. 

You have the choice to be successful.  Before success comes hard work.  Notice that first word?  HARD.  Yeah, not going to be easy, but life is just like that.  Don't want to work hard?  Too lazy?  Don't cry about not having a good job or enough money to buy the things you want then.  I worked my butt off to get where I am today and will keep working because I want to be comfortable in life.  I'm OK with a little elbow grease because it shows that I have a strong will to be something in life. 

You have the choice to do good.  Being bad is an easy thing.  You do what you want to do and don't give any thought to consequences.  Who cares if it hurts someone in the long run?  You got what you wanted and that's all that matters.  Had your fun and suffer no repercussions.  That's how it works, right?  NOPE.  Every choice you make is either going to have a reward or consequence.  Sleeping around, stealing, lying...it's all going to come back to haunt you one day because nothing ever stays hidden.  The truth always comes to light. 

Anyway, this isn't directed at just one person, just some advice in general.  I'm just tired of seeing people make terrible decisions and then blame it on someone else.  Apparently, no blame should come onto them.  It's preposterous and not a way to live life. 

OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DO!

In case anyone was wondering

"Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again"

That's the "Whatif" poem by Shel Silverstein.  As silly as his poems are, sometimes they strike a chord and have a deeper meaning.  *sigh*

Today was a bit rough, and earlier I felt like crying (although what for, I couldn't tell you), but I'm OK now.  I watched GLEE (Christmas special!!!), painted my nails, and signed all our Christmas pictures.  Feeling much better now.  (I'd feel even better if Ben was home from work, but that'd be a miracle if he got out early).
How can I not feel better with 2 dogs curled up at my feet and a cat behind me purring?

puppy love

Not counting today....I have 11 more days until we leave for Missouri.  I just have to keep counting down and looking forward, not down or back.  Always move forward.  Every day I get one step closer to seeing my family and friends.  

Jack

Gator

Mom

 I will be home soon.

A new painting and a semi-day off

A Christmas present for my friend Brandie

This was her present to me-A wine bottle bag with wine glass coasters.

Sent home from work early.  Can't say I was disappointed.  I got 2 hours of work, got to go grocery shopping, and then got to spend the day lounging with Ben.  Definitely a day well spent.  Played some Fable III and watched Californication.

We gave Margot some cat nip today on this piece of material that she really likes.

This is Margot, she is high.

Only 12 days til we go back to MO (not counting today).  Deep breath, I can do this.  

Working on some new sketches, but I can't be rushed.

Not a whole lot to say tonight.  I guess I'll go watch some TV as I drift off to sleep.  TV before bed keeps the "What ifs" at bay.  Hate those things!  Pesky little gnats that swarm around my brain and make me worry about things that don't need to be worried about.  

I'm lucky to have Ben.  When I go off and picture the worst case scenario (because I have to prepare myself, ok?), he keeps me grounded and level headed.  Most of the time, I can come back down to Earth and not panic.  It's a good fit, he and I.  A good fit, indeed.

Starting tomorrow, 9 days of work left

Today I:
*Watched Eclipse (say what you will, I can have my guilty pleasure movies!)
*Wrapped presents (Ben, Rylee, Bekah, Lilly, White Elephant, and Rachel)
*Drank coffee
*Went for a walk with the pups
*Picked Ben up from football

And now I'm making Panko chicken and rice. YUM!

Christmas pictures should be in on Wednesday and then I can get the cards sent out.  I usually have it done by now, but with our schedule, we had to put off our pictures until last week.  Meh, the life of working people. 

15 days, I think I can I think I can

15 days til we head home for Christmas.  It's always so nice and comes at just the right moment where Ben and I think we can't take much more of Clovis.  We stay positive about this place most of the time, but about every 6 months, we get so incredibly sick of it and need to get out!

I had 2 interviews this week.  One I would really like to have and one, not so much.  The one I would like is a 6th grade position.  I interviewed with the principal and 2 other teachers.  Hopefully, I made a good impression and my personality suited them.  I have to be myself in interviews, because I don't want to pretend to be something, and then have to act like someone else just to "fit in".  I am who I am and if people don't like me, then that's ok.  I know I'm awesome.  The other job is a 2 year old teaching position at an early childhood center.  I don't really want that job because I feel like it would be more like a glorified baby sitter at that age. I thought it was for a 4 year old classroom, so I was surprised when I went in.  eh. 
Not sure if I'll get either because the school district is in the hole from budget cuts and wasteful spending. 

I wish I was back at Cameo!  One of the principals told me that she was at a meeting with Tony (my principal from Cameo), and he told her how great a teacher I am and that he really wished I was back at the school.  If a position opened up there, I know I'd get a job.  I feel really thankful that my first REAL teaching job was at a school filled with people that I really got along with and took me under their wings. 

I have been working on SEVERAL paintings lately, none that I can post on here yet because they are presents for people.  I'm especially proud of one and hope the person who receives it is as thrilled with it as I am.

Things I need to do today:
1. Buy Eclipse on DVD
2. Vacuum
3. Dust
4. Mop
5. Clean bathroom
6. Clean room
7. Take a shower
8. Start another painting
9. Finish shopping for people

I think that's all.  I can do this.  In order to do those things though, I need to get my butt off the internet and get busy.

Happy Saturday!