Shots+organizing

I've been in cleaning/organizing mode at my house lately.  I'm taking ideas from pinterest and trying to turn them into my own to get my house in order.  There's too much clutter that we've let accumulate.  The garage is especially bad.  We've just basically junked it up.  There's stuff in there that should have been trashed long ago.  I feel good getting to it now though.
We're making a big haul to the recycling center this Saturday if Ben can get someone with a pick up to help us. We have:
mini fridge
broken metal chair
2 vacuums
grill
lawnmower

I just got rid of the carpets in there last night.  Garbage pick up is on Thursday, and we'll be junking a lot more. I'd like to be able to clean it out and be able to use it.

Delilah had her 4 month shots today.  (Late-not my fault!)  She weighs 19lbs 11oz.  26 inches long.  My big healthy baby!  Ben had to work, so I had to take her to get her shots.  I put on my brave face, prayed the night before for a sense of calm for her, and bucked up and got it done.  She got 4 shots this time and cried.  As soon as I picked her up, she stopped.  I'm so thankful for my champ of a baby!  I know her legs are sore today, so we've been taking it easy.  Just took a walk, and she's sleeping in her stroller.  Sweet baby.

Only 20 days until we go back to Missouri!  I'm ready for this trip!

Some stuff in the news has been bugging me.

Veteran and Wife Murdered

If you watch the video (and please do), the guy hits the nail on the head.  This incident happened at the same time as the Trayvon incident.  Unfortunately, the murder of the war veteran and the brutal gang rape and murder of his wife went unnoticed by the national news media because they were busy reporting on the shooting of Trayvon Martin.  That was a tragedy, yes...but so is this, and no one seems to know about it.  It can't be turned into a Liberal vs Conservative or a black vs white issue.  So it's ignored.  It's not right.  This man served his country and lived his life, and the tragic way it was ended is ignored.  That's AWFUL.

Anti-Bullying Speaker Dan Savage Bullies Christians

My issue with him isn't about the way he talks about the Bible (because there will always be ignorant people out there bashing the Bible), but it seems QUITE hypocritical that someone who is supposedly so into anti-bullying would bully others.  He called those who were offended and left "pansy asses".  Those people who didn't agree with him...so basically, the exact same thing he was fighting against.  The people he was bullying weren't gay though, so maybe they didn't matter to him.  

I'm so sick of this anti-bullying nonsense.  It isn't a new thing.  It's been going on since I was in grade school, since my mom was, since my grandma was.  It happens everywhere and to almost everyone whether you're: white, black, Christian, Muslim, young, old, gay, straight, short, pale, tan, tall, fat, skinny, etc...You get the picture.  Mean people have always been around and will always be around.  They will pick on those that aren't like them and that's just the way it is.  You can't get them to stop, because they don't care.  Honestly, most of them had bullies as parents.  Bullying is a learned behavior.  Empathy is too.  Instead of trying (unsuccessfully) to get  these people to stop being mean, how about we try and empower our kids and give them ways to deal with it?  It's not like bullying ends in school.  I know SEVERAL bullies in the military wife circles I run in.  Yeah, they bug me A LOT, but I have to deal with them.  That's life.  You can't always have someone holding your hand when people are mean to you.  Sometimes you have to just buck up and deal with it.  And yeah, it sucks.  I've had awful rumors started about me.  No reason at all for this happening except the people that I know are mean/bored/jealous/unhappy.  That's life.  I had to just deal with them.  Who do I have to run and tell?  No one.  I have to take care of it myself.  I called them out on the untruths, and then I stopped being friends with them.  I took myself out of situations where I would have to see them. Yes, there are times when I still do, unfortunately, but I'm polite and that's about it.  Yeah, they still talk about me, but I really don't give a crap.

See, in life, you're going to encounter a lot of people you don't like (especially if you're a military spouse!), and you gotta figure out how to maneuver through the shit.  There are a lot of really awesome people too, and that's who I choose to surround myself with.  

High school is 4 years....almost NOTHING in comparison with your life.  I recently looked up some people I graduated with, and most of them are still living in the town we graduated in, working at gas stations, delivering pizza, working at Walmart.  These are the people who were mean in school.  Trust me, it happens!  Their glory days are in high school.  Same thing with the people that Ben graduated with!  

Gotta get through some shit to really enjoy the good stuff that comes in life. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm going to get SEVERELY pissed when/if Delilah gets bullied.  But if it doesn't stop with some intervention, I'm going to teach Delilah how to be strong and stand up for herself.  I had to. Ben had to. People everywhere have to. 

That's all for now.  

And now for a cute picture:

Draft day girls!  We're the cutest.

Well, after giving it some thought, I've decided to not send my biological father that letter.  I thought long and hard, and I just decided that he wasn't worth send a letter to.  If ever I have the chance to see him in person, I'd tell him those things.  I highly doubt he'd even read it through.

Anyway.

Trying out a new church tomorrow.  Hopefully it'll be more traditional than the one we've gone to the past 2 Sundays.  I miss church and having a church family.  I had such fun at Open Door.  I was involved in Awana and had friends and felt very welcome.

I've been watching Sister Wives and Big Love recently.  This is SO weird.  I don't understand the concept of the multiple marriages...and I don't know where they get the "Biblical" idea that it's right.  So bizarre.

Visiting Daddy in the Tower for the first time!

There is something wrong with you if your heart doesn't melt from looking at this picture.

Also, I have teal nails.  I've been bouncing back and forth between teal and coral.  Wish I had time to do some designs!

Interesting story....

For the first time in 26 years, I know where my biological father is.  Each time I've searched for him, I've managed to miss him by about a month.  Each time I've searched for him (google!), he's been arrested for various things like: grand theft auto, identity theft, parole violations, etc...
I happened to do a search on him 2 days ago, and an arrest record from FL came up, and when I called the jail, they confirmed that he is actually there.

My jaw dropped.  I immediately emailed and called my sister.  I've been working on a letter to him.  I'm not adding my last name, location, or any specific details regarding my life.

Here's the letter:
Stephen, 

Let me first say that I'm not writing you in hopes of a relationship.  In fact, I'm not adding my last name or my location.  I just simply wanted to contact you for the first time in 26 years.

When you left me and my mom when I was just 6 weeks old, you did us a great service.  Yes, it was really hard growing up and not knowing who your father is.  It was hard at some points knowing that you had known me and were still able to walk out.  That knowledge can give a person some serious issues.  Luckily, I am a strong person and used your inadequacies to make myself stronger.  I do wonder why, still.  I wonder how many siblings I have across the United States.  How many more children are out there that you fathered?  Do you ever think of them?  Of me?  I know that in Texas when you were arrested, you told them you had no children.  Does it make you feel better to say that?  You KNOW there are many of us out there.  I only hope that you left them too before they could be tainted by you.

I follow your arrest records through Google.  I have been since 2003.  I pity your life.  Always on the lamb, never doing anything honest.  Missing out on any semblance of a family.

When I was 13, I made a very rudimentary webpage with the only 2 pictures I had of you.  I was hoping that if anyone who knew you saw the page, I could get some information.  This was before Google, before I knew anything about you other than the fact that you worked as an electrician.  About 3 years later, I had all but forgotten about the page when I was contacted by one of your family members.  This person put me in contact with your daughter, my sister, Stacey.  Since then, I have been able to meet the family I never knew I had.  The family that you kept me away from by running away.  I'm thankful to know them now, but I'm disappointed to have missed the opportunity to know my grandparents.  Did you even know that your parents passed away?  Did you even care?  

As I said before, I took the situation that you put me in and became stronger for it.  I made sure that I wouldn't choose a cowardly man to spend my life with.  Any children I had would have a father in their lives.  I was an excellent student, always having a 3.8-4.0 grade point average.  I was involved in many activities in school.  I went to college and got my Bachelor's Degree.  I got married after I graduated college, we were together for 6 years before being married.  He is a very successful man in his career, and I couldn't be more proud.  I chose a man the complete opposite of what you are.  You don't deserve to know anything except for these very small snippets of information about my life.  Just know, my life is wonderful, and I'm glad you haven't been a part of it.  

I don't know why you left us.  I've heard rumors, one is that you stole money from the Boston mafia because you were a drug runner.  I suppose if that's true, then no wonder you've been a transient all these years.  How sad...to not have a home or a family for the last 30 years.  I can't even imagine that, and because you left, I never have to.  

So thank you for leaving.  Had you stayed, I would have grown up much differently.  

I don't know what you'll do with this letter, and I honestly don't care.  This is just the first time that I've actually known where you are for the first time in 26 years, and I figured it was in my right to write you. 

Enjoy your life, it is what you made it.

My Wants:

EYES

False Lashes

Aquadisiac

Sushi Flower

Jealousy Wakes to Shop

Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle

NAILS

Screening Room

Toco Toucan

LIPS

Pink Lemonade

When I go to KC, I want to:

*Go to the Titanic exhibit at Union Station

*Go to the zoo

*Go to the aquarium

*Shop at H&M

That's all I have for right now.

Tomorrow, Alpaca Farm!  

Lately...

Lately:

*I have been going on walks with a new friend and neighbor.  It's very refreshing to meet someone new.

*I have to have a procedure on Thursday.  I've been incredibly nervous about it.  The dr. told me that I couldn't nurse for 72 hours.  After calling lactation consultants, doing research, contacting LaLecheLeague, and confirming everything with one another, I learned that I only have to pump and dump 3 times after the procedure, if even that. So I don't have to worry about that...just about the actual procedure.  If you all are of the praying kind, please say some for me.  

*Ben and I have been catching up on Game of Thrones.  Let me just say, it's REALLY good, and NO ONE IS SAFE.

*I went through my drawers and closet recently.  I've got to get rid of some of my old stuff....and make room for NEW clothes.  I have a short torso, so sometimes shopping is frustrating though.  I'm thankful that I've been able to get back to my pre-baby weight so quickly.  I know others aren't as lucky.  I'm thinking about starting turbo fire just to get in even better shape. 

*My trip to Missouri is getting closer and closer.

And now, some pictures:

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Me and my girl on Easter.

Enjoying some Rilo time.

Playing while we watch Game of Thrones.  I'm not sure why Otis likes to stick his nose in my knee pit.

Oh yeah, I started cloth diapering.  So far, so good!  I just can't wait for the cute covers to come in!

Happy first Easter!