For the first time in 26 years, I know where my biological father is. Each time I've searched for him, I've managed to miss him by about a month. Each time I've searched for him (google!), he's been arrested for various things like: grand theft auto, identity theft, parole violations, etc...
I happened to do a search on him 2 days ago, and an arrest record from FL came up, and when I called the jail, they confirmed that he is actually there.
My jaw dropped. I immediately emailed and called my sister. I've been working on a letter to him. I'm not adding my last name, location, or any specific details regarding my life.
Here's the letter:
Stephen,
Let me first say that I'm not writing you in hopes of a relationship. In fact, I'm not adding my last name or my location. I just simply wanted to contact you for the first time in 26 years.
When you left me and my mom when I was just 6 weeks old, you did us a great service. Yes, it was really hard growing up and not knowing who your father is. It was hard at some points knowing that you had known me and were still able to walk out. That knowledge can give a person some serious issues. Luckily, I am a strong person and used your inadequacies to make myself stronger. I do wonder why, still. I wonder how many siblings I have across the United States. How many more children are out there that you fathered? Do you ever think of them? Of me? I know that in Texas when you were arrested, you told them you had no children. Does it make you feel better to say that? You KNOW there are many of us out there. I only hope that you left them too before they could be tainted by you.
I follow your arrest records through Google. I have been since 2003. I pity your life. Always on the lamb, never doing anything honest. Missing out on any semblance of a family.
When I was 13, I made a very rudimentary webpage with the only 2 pictures I had of you. I was hoping that if anyone who knew you saw the page, I could get some information. This was before Google, before I knew anything about you other than the fact that you worked as an electrician. About 3 years later, I had all but forgotten about the page when I was contacted by one of your family members. This person put me in contact with your daughter, my sister, Stacey. Since then, I have been able to meet the family I never knew I had. The family that you kept me away from by running away. I'm thankful to know them now, but I'm disappointed to have missed the opportunity to know my grandparents. Did you even know that your parents passed away? Did you even care?
As I said before, I took the situation that you put me in and became stronger for it. I made sure that I wouldn't choose a cowardly man to spend my life with. Any children I had would have a father in their lives. I was an excellent student, always having a 3.8-4.0 grade point average. I was involved in many activities in school. I went to college and got my Bachelor's Degree. I got married after I graduated college, we were together for 6 years before being married. He is a very successful man in his career, and I couldn't be more proud. I chose a man the complete opposite of what you are. You don't deserve to know anything except for these very small snippets of information about my life. Just know, my life is wonderful, and I'm glad you haven't been a part of it.
I don't know why you left us. I've heard rumors, one is that you stole money from the Boston mafia because you were a drug runner. I suppose if that's true, then no wonder you've been a transient all these years. How sad...to not have a home or a family for the last 30 years. I can't even imagine that, and because you left, I never have to.
So thank you for leaving. Had you stayed, I would have grown up much differently.
I don't know what you'll do with this letter, and I honestly don't care. This is just the first time that I've actually known where you are for the first time in 26 years, and I figured it was in my right to write you.
Enjoy your life, it is what you made it.
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