New Year's Resolutions

I'm seriously going to try and keep these. 

1. Continue to move forward in my quest in eating healthier.  No, not to lose weight/go to the gym, but to continue to eat a balanced diet of food that is actually good for me.
2. Try and not get as annoyed with people in Clovis having the same conversations over and over and over again.  (I wonder if they even know they do it...and if they do know, are they aware that I get up and leave or space out while they are doing it?)
3. Take a painting class.
4. Take more time for me.
5. Go on more weekend vacations with Ben.

I think these are absolutely easy to stick with (maybe number 2 would be the only exception...), and so I think that I should be pretty successful in my endeavor. 

I saw Black Swan last night with Ben, Flig, Annie, and Mary.  I thought it was a very trippy movie, a little hard to focus on at first because of the close up shots that weren't sturdy.  After awhile, it seemed like it got better or my eyes got used to it.  Natalie Portman destroyed her body for this movie, looking skinnier than I've ever seen her look before, and she's a really petite girl.  Her bones poked her skin out and made her look sickly.  I was totally believing that she was this frigid ballerina who could barely raise her voice above a whisper and couldn't look anyone in the eyes. 
**spoiler**
Her descent into madness was done beautifully and was extraordinarily creepy in certain parts, namely the paintings beginning to talk. 
A brilliant performance, a stellar cast.  Definitely needs to be seen.

Next on my list to see:
The Fighter
True Grit
Blue Valentine

Tonight, Ben and I have a dinner with his aunt and uncle and probably the cousins as well.  Our friend Landon is also coming into town from Denton, TX with is lovely girlfriend and they both will be spending New Year's Eve with us.  Huzzah!

I miss my babies

 I really do miss them a lot.

The Day After Christmas

Phew.

Ben got his ipod and was crazy about it, loved his headphones a bunch too!

He got me an iphone and I stupidly restored it that night by plugging it in to my computer...found a guy that could fix it for me though, so thank goodness!

Everyone had a really good time, minus a bit of drama.  It sucks that it happened, but it's over and done with.  Nothing to do about it now.

Had Christmas Eve pizza with my family here and opened presents (I'd post pics, but the one above is the only one loading right).  Everyone got along and was really happy with everything they got.  I got a cute new pair of jeans and an easel for painting. 

Ben and I left and went to his house to watch A Christmas Story and hang with his family.  The kids went to bed afterward and I helped get the stockings ready.  Tried to figure out how to fix my iphone (yeah right, I'm technologically impaired.) and then went to bed.  Opened presents with Ben's family and hung out there for awhile.  Got some cute owl stuff!

Went back to my parents' house for Christmas Day festivities.  Was pretty fun, I hung downstairs quite a bit.  Everyone left after a bit and Ben and I met with some friends at Halfway for our dinner.  It's tradition.

I've been hanging out with my mom all day, just relaxing.  I'm waiting on Ben now to head up to the city to see some friends and actually hang out as a group.  It's mostly been split up lately.  He watched the game at his parents' house and is going to watch 1/2 of another game too I guess.  I just want to get out and moving to get my phone fixed.  *sigh*

I'm going to try and figure out times and such and get the rest of my day figured out. 

FINALLY in Missouri

Spent Saturday winning at life at the Christmas party.  Won $100 in VISA gift cards and a $15 Subway gift card! 

We're so awesome.

Sunday morning rolls around and I get up at 5am to start getting ready and loading the car up.  Ben's moving a big slow, and he didn't look like he was feeling well.  

We finally got on the road at 7ish and got McDonalds for breakfast.  

Ben had me switch with him about a half hour into the trip because he felt so ill.  I ended up driving the whole way while Ben battled his food poisoning.  Poor guy.  After the 2nd time he threw up, he felt better, but had hurt his back.  I had him just relax the rest of the way.  I felt pretty awesome being able to drive the whole way!

Spent the day with my mom on Monday and then got to see Mary on Monday evening and we all met up at Halfway (since we weren't able to the first night we were in town...)

Tuesday went shopping with mom in Lee's Summit and then spent the night with Mary at her apartment.  It was tons of fun!

Wednesday Mary and I went to the mall to do some last minute Christmas shopping at the Independence Center.  I've got all the shopping done except for Eli and David (which are Ben's responsibility).  Then I rented some movies and watched Toy Story 2 and Shrek the Third with my mom, aunt, and cousin.  

So far, it's been a wonderful trip!

Is tomorrow really Friday?

I think Friday has been dragging its feet all week to get here.  Seems like it should have already come and gone.

Today was a dumb day.  3 out of 4 kids at the daycare in the room threw up and I had to bounce back and forth between rooms 1 and 2 to help out.  Not the relaxing day that I was hoping for.
Went to get the oil changed...and it took FOREVER.
Went to mail off a package that was THREE POUNDS and the lady there (who had already spent 10 minutes trying to figure out the zip code to CT) was wanting to charge me $30.  SERIOUSLY?  I asked her if that was right because it was a 3lb box.  She looked confused, so I said, "I'm going to come back another day and see if I can get it a reasonable cost.
Give me a break.  Some people....

I'm home now though in a warm house (although it wasn't this morning because the heater shut off AGAIN) and the chicken is thawing for chicken quesadillas with salsa.
I'm going to play some Fable III tonight and try to get some house stuff done before we leave this weekend.
I actually better get off of the computer and go do all that now.

UGH.  Will my workday ever be over when I clock out at WORK?

*******************
Annnnd I'm back.  Didn't take too long to get some stuff taken care of.

I'm really excited for the Christmas party this year.  TONS of prizes to win, a dinner, dressing up, and companionship.  It's going to be a great night.  I'm really glad that it's an adults only party and that people can't bring their kids.  Sometimes it's nice to only be around adults...because more often than not, kids being around turns it into a kids party and some people don't watch their kids very well...which leads to craziness.  Anyway, I'm really excited about it. 

I'm getting my nails done tomorrow.  Can't decide on sparkly green or giraffe print tips.  Hmmm.

Big sigh.

Another day done. 

I swear, this week is taking FOREVER to get over with.  Probably because I need it to be done!

Friday I get my nails done and have RT's going away party.
Saturday is the Christmas party for Ben's squadron.
Sunday we LEAVE FOR MISSOURI!

See?  I need the weekend!

Worked on a painting for a friend last night, and here it is:

She was in Japan, so I wanted to paint her some cherry blossoms.

2 days down, 3 to go...

Work was lame today.
I'm tired of babies. 

What's on the menu tonight?  Parmesan breaded tilapia, cheesy brocoli, and yellow rice. YUM!  Gosh, I'm such a good cook!  Yesterday we had chicken creole served over rice.  Quite tasty and very healthy.

I have so much to do before we leave including a painting for a friend that is leaving this weekend.  It's going to be weird not having them around....he's deploying and she and the baby are going back to their hometown while he's away.  We're having a going away party for them this weekend (I'm making pumpkin cookies!) and then Saturday night is the Christmas party!  I'm pretty excited about it.  Bought that pretty dress from Forever21 (only $23!) and we got Ben a shirt and tie over the weekend. 
Lynell and I are getting our nails done on Friday afternoon before the festivities. 

I'm sure everyone knows what is going on on Sunday...HOME TO MISSOURI!!!

We've got a house sitter, so everything is in order.  (I just gotta make it through the next few days.)

Whoa! I've lost 7lbs!

So last night, Ben calls me.  I had just gotten done logging my calories/exercise for the day (keep in mind: I'm not trying to lose weight...I have a heart condition and it's time I started being conscious about what I'm putting in my body.) and I had just weighed myself for the weekly weigh in...and I thought the scale was broken.  I had weighed 5lbs more at the doctor's just 2 weeks ago.  I've never tried to lose weight before, so I didn't think it comes off that fast.  I told Ben we needed to get a new scale because our's was wrong.  He told me he had just weighed himself and it was correct.
Guess the 2mile walks with the pups have been paying off!

come on, who wouldn't want to make these cuties happy by taking them on a walk?

Anyway, go me!


Today was a super easy day at work!  I got to work on the backdrop for pictures with Santa for the majority of the morning and then when it was time for me to go back in the room, we only had 3 and it was naptime.  I put them all to sleep and then I'm pretty sure I drifted off a bit.  It was so peaceful, quiet, and warm.  There's a certain air a place gets when babies are all taken care of and sleeping soundly.  I couldn't help it!  Left at 3 and grabbed Quiznos (my sandwich had less calories in it than a value burger/fries from Wendy's!) and went home to watch Californication. 

I've missed Ben quite a bit this week.  He's working the night shift, so we really only have a couple hours together before he goes to work.  I've put off going to the store all week because I want to get home quickly to see him.  Our only interaction is that couple hours he has with me before work and when I stir when he gets in from work and kisses me goodnight.  (I sure do love him bunches)

Ok, enough mush.  I'm going to go sing Christmas carols while I clean.

Watching Californication

Had a really nice dinner date with my friend Elsa.  She's probably one of the easiest people to hang out with.  Very fun and chill.  We had dinner at Jaliscos and then drove around looking at actual nice houses in Clovis. (I know, people, it's a shock.)  

We actually saw a mansion.  Picture a culdesac...that house WAS the culdesac.  It was brick and stone, had one of those balcony things on the 2nd story (where I would put a lounger and would sit and drink coffee and read), GIANT windows, columns, archways....it was just beautiful. 

Anyway, driving around and not doing anything in particular was just what I needed after a busy day yesterday.  

Today was a relatively easy day.  I'm trying to staying positive about Clovis, but around this time (like right before I go home to MO) I get really negative about it.  Just getting homesick I suppose.  The neighborhoods look trashier, the junkyard yards look more diseased, the people in town are more unfriendly, and people that irritate get under my skin even more!  I'm laughing about it now, but I really see these things!  I'll just continue to let things brush off my shoulders because I know it's just because I'm about to go back to see everyone!

I've got a White Elephant party to go to on Saturday.  Was going to be at my house, moved now (which is nice, because now I don't have to be the host and get my house party ready) to the Bantau house.  I've already got my present.  Hopefully everyone brings cool stuff.  

A night of wine, friends, and finger food sounds good, right?

I've started to use myfitnesspal application on my phone.  I'm watching my calorie/fat intake.  Not so much to lose weight (because I'm at a really healthy weight), but I want to eat much healthier.  With my heart, I don't want to take many chances.  I'm finding that I eat pretty healthy as is, but it'll be nice to have a reminder handy.  

Choices

Everyone makes choices in their lives.  You make the choice to do good or be good, or maybe stray in the other direction.  Many will use excuses and blame other people (I was abused, my mom/dad wasn't around, I didn't have money growing up, etc...), but it is always your choice. 

You have the choice to be successful.  Before success comes hard work.  Notice that first word?  HARD.  Yeah, not going to be easy, but life is just like that.  Don't want to work hard?  Too lazy?  Don't cry about not having a good job or enough money to buy the things you want then.  I worked my butt off to get where I am today and will keep working because I want to be comfortable in life.  I'm OK with a little elbow grease because it shows that I have a strong will to be something in life. 

You have the choice to do good.  Being bad is an easy thing.  You do what you want to do and don't give any thought to consequences.  Who cares if it hurts someone in the long run?  You got what you wanted and that's all that matters.  Had your fun and suffer no repercussions.  That's how it works, right?  NOPE.  Every choice you make is either going to have a reward or consequence.  Sleeping around, stealing, lying...it's all going to come back to haunt you one day because nothing ever stays hidden.  The truth always comes to light. 

Anyway, this isn't directed at just one person, just some advice in general.  I'm just tired of seeing people make terrible decisions and then blame it on someone else.  Apparently, no blame should come onto them.  It's preposterous and not a way to live life. 

OWN UP TO WHAT YOU DO!

In case anyone was wondering

"Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again"

That's the "Whatif" poem by Shel Silverstein.  As silly as his poems are, sometimes they strike a chord and have a deeper meaning.  *sigh*

Today was a bit rough, and earlier I felt like crying (although what for, I couldn't tell you), but I'm OK now.  I watched GLEE (Christmas special!!!), painted my nails, and signed all our Christmas pictures.  Feeling much better now.  (I'd feel even better if Ben was home from work, but that'd be a miracle if he got out early).
How can I not feel better with 2 dogs curled up at my feet and a cat behind me purring?

puppy love

Not counting today....I have 11 more days until we leave for Missouri.  I just have to keep counting down and looking forward, not down or back.  Always move forward.  Every day I get one step closer to seeing my family and friends.  

Jack

Gator

Mom

 I will be home soon.

A new painting and a semi-day off

A Christmas present for my friend Brandie

This was her present to me-A wine bottle bag with wine glass coasters.

Sent home from work early.  Can't say I was disappointed.  I got 2 hours of work, got to go grocery shopping, and then got to spend the day lounging with Ben.  Definitely a day well spent.  Played some Fable III and watched Californication.

We gave Margot some cat nip today on this piece of material that she really likes.

This is Margot, she is high.

Only 12 days til we go back to MO (not counting today).  Deep breath, I can do this.  

Working on some new sketches, but I can't be rushed.

Not a whole lot to say tonight.  I guess I'll go watch some TV as I drift off to sleep.  TV before bed keeps the "What ifs" at bay.  Hate those things!  Pesky little gnats that swarm around my brain and make me worry about things that don't need to be worried about.  

I'm lucky to have Ben.  When I go off and picture the worst case scenario (because I have to prepare myself, ok?), he keeps me grounded and level headed.  Most of the time, I can come back down to Earth and not panic.  It's a good fit, he and I.  A good fit, indeed.

Starting tomorrow, 9 days of work left

Today I:
*Watched Eclipse (say what you will, I can have my guilty pleasure movies!)
*Wrapped presents (Ben, Rylee, Bekah, Lilly, White Elephant, and Rachel)
*Drank coffee
*Went for a walk with the pups
*Picked Ben up from football

And now I'm making Panko chicken and rice. YUM!

Christmas pictures should be in on Wednesday and then I can get the cards sent out.  I usually have it done by now, but with our schedule, we had to put off our pictures until last week.  Meh, the life of working people. 

15 days, I think I can I think I can

15 days til we head home for Christmas.  It's always so nice and comes at just the right moment where Ben and I think we can't take much more of Clovis.  We stay positive about this place most of the time, but about every 6 months, we get so incredibly sick of it and need to get out!

I had 2 interviews this week.  One I would really like to have and one, not so much.  The one I would like is a 6th grade position.  I interviewed with the principal and 2 other teachers.  Hopefully, I made a good impression and my personality suited them.  I have to be myself in interviews, because I don't want to pretend to be something, and then have to act like someone else just to "fit in".  I am who I am and if people don't like me, then that's ok.  I know I'm awesome.  The other job is a 2 year old teaching position at an early childhood center.  I don't really want that job because I feel like it would be more like a glorified baby sitter at that age. I thought it was for a 4 year old classroom, so I was surprised when I went in.  eh. 
Not sure if I'll get either because the school district is in the hole from budget cuts and wasteful spending. 

I wish I was back at Cameo!  One of the principals told me that she was at a meeting with Tony (my principal from Cameo), and he told her how great a teacher I am and that he really wished I was back at the school.  If a position opened up there, I know I'd get a job.  I feel really thankful that my first REAL teaching job was at a school filled with people that I really got along with and took me under their wings. 

I have been working on SEVERAL paintings lately, none that I can post on here yet because they are presents for people.  I'm especially proud of one and hope the person who receives it is as thrilled with it as I am.

Things I need to do today:
1. Buy Eclipse on DVD
2. Vacuum
3. Dust
4. Mop
5. Clean bathroom
6. Clean room
7. Take a shower
8. Start another painting
9. Finish shopping for people

I think that's all.  I can do this.  In order to do those things though, I need to get my butt off the internet and get busy.

Happy Saturday!