Monday, March 29, 2010

Today has been an interesting day here at work.  It’s statewide testing time, so everyone gets involved in it.  I get a sub in my classroom for 2 weeks while I test a group of 5 SPED or ESL kids in a separate room.  Luckily, the kids that I’m testing are hard workers and don’t visit.  They sit quietly once they’re done.  It makes for a really dull day, especially being used to teaching first grade where you RARELY get a chance to sit down and relax.  If you’re sitting, you’re still doing something, whether it’s small groups, grading, lesson planning, organizing, copying, or making models. 

The life of a teacher.

I’m really going to miss this place.  I have made some really valuable friends here, and it’s going to be hard to leave.  It hasn’t fully sunk in that later on in the year, I’m going to be in another country halfway across the world.  Nope, even typing it didn’t feel real.  It’s like some story that I’m telling.  Doesn’t feel like it’s happening to me. 

Last night, Ben told me that there might be a chance that the dogs may not come with us right away.  This absolutely broke my heart.  I will do ANYTHING to take the dogs with us.  It all depends on whether or not we get a house on base or off base.  Off base, we’d have to quarantine the animals for a period of time at the vet’s office, and that can be pricey.  If we get a house on base, we could quarantine them at our own home. 

I cried and cried when he was telling me this.  He told me that we weren’t getting rid of them, that they may just have to stay with one of our friends or family members for a while.  When we got Rilo, I made Ben promise to me that if we were going to do this, get a pet, that this was going to be for her lifetime.  We weren’t going to get rid of her or find a new home for herwe would have to do everything in our power to keep us all together.  I’ve had to say good-bye to too many pets in my lifetime, and I wasn’t going to do it anymore.  He pinky promised.  Last night when we were talking about this, he told me that he was keeping the promise, and that he knew how important the animals were to me.  I’m going to try and work out any possible way to keep them with us.

Chip already said he would take Otis in a heartbeat, and I know my mom has said before that Rilo could stay with her.  Doesn’t make it any less hard.  When I look into their eyes, there is nothing but unconditional love from them to me and vice versa.  I am their mommy, and I don’t think I could stand being away from them.  They look to me for everything, and to put them somewhere, even for just a while, makes me sick to my stomach.  Who else can rub Rilo’s neck when she’s having a hard time breathing?  What about when Otis wants Mommy cuddle time? 

Thinking about this makes me want to cry, and in fact, I’m crying right now.  I don’t know how people can just be fine with finding new homes for their animals when they move.  I don’t understand it.  Otis and Rilo are a part of my family, and will always be, even once they’ve passed. 

Last night, after we talked, I went back to the bedroom to put away laundry and just cried the entire time.  I started thinking up things to sell and getting a job over the summer to help pay for the pets to come over.  When I told Ben this, he smiled at me and told me that there was no way I was going to get a job over the summer because he loved having me home and there was going to be a lot to take care of.  I told him that I’d take care of everything AND work.  He said I didn’t have to do that.  I told him I would sell some of my things that I didn’t need.  I told him that I would just ask for money for my birthday and use that to pay for them to come over. (Can you see my sense of desperation?)  He assured me that bringing the pets wasn’t about the money, it was about the housing and what we could get.  He told me that he knew I was already thinking about not buying things for myself to save money for them to come over and to not do that. (How well does he know me?  I was totally thinking that.) 

My husband loves me and takes care of me.  What more could a person ask for?  He is willing to make sacrifices for me to be happy, as I am to him as well. 

Now that I’ve made myself sad, I think it’s time for a list of things to make myself smile.  (Not that thinking about how great Ben is didn’t do that, but after such a long and sad post, more is the best option)

Things that I’m happy about today 3/29/10

1.         The sun is out.

2.         It’s not super windy.

3.         Ben is working days so we’ll both get home around the same time and spend the night together.

4.         My salsa was a hit at lunch today with the other teachers.

5.         I may have someone interested in my Pontiac (the sooner we get rid of it, the better!).

6.         I was coloring earlier and it was quite fun.

7.         I’ve decided to paint one more ceiling tile before I leave Cameo.

8.         I look super cute in the shirt I’m wearing today.

That’s all for now, and I do feel quite a bit better.

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